A Modest Proposal
by Miran Anders
Summary: COMPLETE! A pleasant alternative to the bizarre plot choices by TPTB. Does not include season 9.
1. Someone Else's Life

This is set sometime after season 5, I suppose. The only thing it doesn't work with is the current season's... _interesting_… developments.

I don't own anything about the characters and situations in JAG. Drat.

* * *

**A MODEST PROPOSAL**

_JAG Headquarters_

"You free for lunch?"

Sarah Mackenzie looked up from a slurry of paperwork on her desk and blinked. "Free? Are you free? Are any of us truly 'free', Harm? And what is freedom? What does it mean?..." There was a moment's pause when Commander Rabb looked confused, before he looked down with a smile.

"Still chewing on the Tannister case, I take it."

"Chewing, swallowing, digesting..." she waved her hand vaguely without continuing the progression. "Let's just say I'm 'immersed' in it." Her eyes brightened at the exchange and a weary smile touched her lips. "But I've got to eat sometime, I suppose. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, ah..." She frowned prettily as he hesitated, her head tilting to the side as he spoke uncertainly. "I brought some lunch."

"Well, that's peachy for you, but I-"

"No, Mac. I mean," he took a deep breath and his eyes widened, a little embarrassed. "I brought enough lunch for both of us."

She sat back and tossed her pen into the confusion on her desk.

"Well, Harmon Rabb. What made you think of that?"

"It's Thursday."

"Thursday?"

"It's Thursday, there's a full moon tonight…" He gave her a look as she rolled her eyes. "I just thought it would be nice." Grinning, he fiddled with the light switch as he leaned on the wall. "Besides. Shrimp was on sale and I made too much." They shared a laugh and Mac shook her head. "Look," he said with a slightly nervous smile, "if it's not a good time for you, don't worry. I just thought you might -"

"Harm! If you think I'm going to turn down one of your seafood salads -" Her eyes narrowed. "Which dressing?"

"Sun-dried tomato basil vinaigrette."

"Fresh?"

His eyes laughed. "Fresh this morning. Basil right out of the windowbox."

"Mmmm." She looked at her watch. "Here, or your office?"

"Ah, I thought maybe off-base. The park?"

She looked intrigued. "Let's go."

He smiled, a boyish, happy grin. "Great."

* * *

Mac couldn't help grinning herself as he carefully closed the car door behind her. There was no doubt in her mind that Harm's mother had raised a gentleman, and she sighed peacefully as he walked around the car, reflecting on their friendship. It was _comfortable_ again. After the marathon they had run with the rest of JAG, they had even taken to running together on Monday mornings. She looked over at him while he settled in and smiled.

It was amazingly good to have her best friend back.

As they drove, putting distance between them and the office, she felt herself relax. "This was a great idea, Harm. Thanks."

"Hey, you haven't even tasted it yet."

She chuckled a laugh. "No, but I didn't realize just how much I needed to get out of the office." She reached over and patted his hand companionably. "Thanks."

"No problem." He flashed her a smile, his eyes bright. "Besides, that judge was making my teeth itch this morning. Did you hear her with that poor bailiff?" Mac nodded and they both laughed, just a little guiltily.

* * *

Mac flopped back on the blanket after lunch and made a satisfied noise. "Good work, Navy. You should have entered the culinary competition."

Harm chuckled, his smile glinting in the sun. "Right. I can imagine how happy the Admiral would be if I told him I wanted to take six months off to go to the culinary institute."

"Oh, come on... you could be the poster boy for the Navy's new pilot-lawyer-chef division."

"Right. We'd have to change our motto. Talk about being all that you can be..." He looked at his watch as she laughed, her eyes closed.

"I hate to say it, Mac, but we should get back. I've got to finish getting the Michaels case together. Court tomorrow." She balled up her napkin and threw it at him.

"Spoilsport." Sitting up and stretching, she looked at him more seriously. "How does it look?"

Harm shrugged. "Good, I think. Plenty of witnesses for before and after." He shook his head. "Still pretty sad."

Mac nodded soberly as she stood and folded the plaid picnic blanket. "Really sad. Whatever happens in the case, I hope he can live with it." She looked pensive as she brushed grass off her marine greens, but her eyes brightened abruptly. "Thanks again for lunch, Harm. It was wonderful."

He stared at her back as she headed toward the car. "Anytime, Mac."

* * *

_Norfolk Enlisted Men's Quarters_

Next Day

Commander Harmon Rabb looked up from his sheaf of papers to the officer sitting across from him. _ My God, they look younger every year_. "Not even a letter of reprimand, Lieutenant. You've been cleared completely." Rabb waited for a response, looking back down to stack the files. When none came, he looked again. "Lieutenant Michaels?" The dark-haired young officer was staring down at the table, expressionless. "Look, Lieutenant. Is there something -"

"Thank you, Commander. I appreciate the trouble you went through to help me..." The response, coming late as it did, brought a concerned frown to Rabb's face. The younger man's voice trailed off, as if he had practiced that line and didn't have anything else in him.

"Lieutenant?" The commander waited. He could feel the tension, and hoped that if he just gave him time, Michaels would tell him what was going on. He wished for a moment that Mac was here. She was more intuitive about these things. _Women_. He almost smiled as he pictured her response to that comment, but at that moment, the young man's shoulders began to shake.

"Lieutenant? Greg? What's going on?"

The sobs wrenched out as Michaels slammed his fists down on the table. "She's still dead."

Harm pushed his chair back, his head tipping to one side. He spoke quietly. "I know, Greg. But it wasn't your fault. The private was sober when you signed out that jeep to him-"

"Who cares?" The lieutenant broke down again, his head in his hands. "I mean, when this happened, I was so worried that it might have been my fault, and now, now it isn't, I know that, I know it isn't, but damn it, sir, she's still dead! She's, she-"

Harm stared for a moment, not knowing what to say. Slowly, realization dawned. He stood and walked to the other side of the table, put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "She was more than just a friend, wasn't she." It wasn't a question, and Harm was sure he had hit something when the shoulder under his firm grasp began to shake again. The commander squatted next to the chair and distractedly dug a handkerchief out of his pocket, handed it over.

Taking it with an embarrassed nod, the young man responded. "No, sir."

Harm's eyebrows raised, the blue in his eyes curious. "No?"

"No. We were just friends. Really good friends. The best. But we could have been more than that."

Harm sighed. _Been there. _"Greg, no one knows what could have happened. Friends don't always -"

"Oh, it could have, sir, but I - was an idiot. We used to get together all the time, have a couple beers, talk, watch movies, talk more... and do you know what we talked about most?"

Harm shook his head, his eyes wide with concern for the shaken young marine.

"We talked about how hard it was to find someone to get along with. Someone who you could talk with, laugh with, work with... someone who you could respect, who'd respect you. Hell, sir, you wouldn't understand." He wiped his shirtsleeve across his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control himself. "We looked at each other sometimes, just looked, and we both knew we were thinking 'what if'... but we never did anything about it." The young soldier's voice cracked as he laughed at himself harshly. "No, no, that's not true. I never did anything about it. I kept putting it off. She tried to talk about it once or twice, but I joked my way out of it."

Harm stood up again, moved back to his chair. A chorus in his mind was getting louder. _Familiar, eh?_ "Listen, Greg. I can recommend some time off. I'll talk to your commanding officer, and-"

"No, thank you, sir." Harm looked surprised. "I mean, I appreciate the thought, sir, I just think that if I keep working it would be better. Thank you."

"Greg-" He stopped. Everything he thought to say sounded so cliched. Once more he wished Mac was here. Even if she didn't have the words, just having his partner here often helped him find the ones he needed. Have I ever told her that? "I understand. But if you need to talk to someone, or if you want to talk to someone professionally..."

"Sir?" Lieutenant Michaels looked into Harm. Their eyes were almost the identical shade of blue-green. "It's not that I don't think there will ever be anyone else. It's not that. It's just... well. I'm only twenty-three. For the rest of my life, I'll remember how it feels right now, how it feels to never know what could have been."

For a brief moment, the ghost of a smile lit the young man's face. "Judy must be laughing at me. She always said I needed to learn to follow my heart..." the tears filled his eyes again, and he looked down to the table. "We used to talk about how when you're in the military, your life could be on the line anytime. I thought that made a difference somehow. And then she gets hit by a car. A damn _car_, Commander, crossing the street, as if we were just... as if we were... ordinary... This big scary military excuse I gave myself was a lie, because anyone, anywhere, could be dead tomorrow. Gone. It doesn't matter. And you'll never see them again. And they'll never know, and you'll never know... "

He looked back up to the wide eyes of Harmon Rabb. "I'll live differently now, even if it's in her honor, instead of beside her, but the things I would have made sure of..." Lieutenant Michaels shook his head, resolve growing in his expression. "Can you imagine, Commander? Can you imagine never seeing your best friend again? Ever?"

Harm ignored the first feeling that came to him. A veritable chorus in his head, training from the beginning, told him to avoid identifying emotionally with his client. "I've had friends die, lieutenant. It's not easy."

The younger man almost snorted a laugh. "No, not easy." He shook his head. "It's a hell of a way to learn a lesson, sir. I just-" He stopped, sobbed without a sound. "I just want to hold her again. That's all. Just hold her."


	2. The Bullpen Sideshow

To the reviewers: Thank you for reading and responding! (And to msa… you see, the floors were being polished in the entry halls of the BOQ, and they were directing people away from there, and … um… the commissary had a power outage so that the lieutenant and Harm had to grab coffee where they could. Ahem. In other words, my bad, good catch! : ) )

* * *

Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr, was on the beltway when it hit. An overwhelming sensation of loss, a loss that hadn't even happened.

_ "Yeah, Rabb, and what if it did? What if she doesn't just transfer, or even just marry someone else. What if she -" _He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. "Right, counsel, as long as she's alive, there's hope." He pounded the steering wheel, shouting.

"Hope of WHAT? What are you waiting for?", and must have shouted something else, as well. A woman in a minivan full of kids glared at him. Harm looked sheepishly at her, mouthed 'sorry', and changed lanes for his exit.

As much as he tried to dismiss it, the image of Sarah Mackenzie lying dead in the street, hit by a drunk driver, maybe after one of their stupid, stupid arguments, was blazing in the front of his mind. In full, horrible color. Those luminous dark eyes glazed and empty. Never being able to make it right again. Never being able to apologize. Never being able to talk it out, or pretend, as they did so often, that it just didn't happen. Never being able to hold her, ever, ever again.

A nasty little voice in his head said, "Well, Commander. At least you won't have to worry about deciding whether to take it a step farther anymore." Something finally snapped into place. He swore softly and stepped on the accelerator.

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

Colonel Sarah Mackenzie was standing at the copier, staring blankly at the wall opposite her as she waited for the documents to finish reproducing. "Exciting work, Colonel?" She blinked with some embarrassment back to awareness, smiled brightly if somewhat artificially at the Admiral as he walked past.

"Oh, unbelievably exciting, sir. But they're almost done." The Admiral returned her smile and was safely in his office when Harm came flying into the bullpen. He ran to her office, looked in, turned and searched the room slightly more frantically than a seasoned fighter pilot should. When he saw her, he visibly exhaled, as if he'd been holding his breath. He covered the distance between them in record time, yet when he stood in front of her, half a step apart, he hesitated. She frowned, puzzled, and gave him a quirky smile.

"Commander? Is something-" She didn't finish as he wrapped her in a hug and held on tightly, his head dropped on her shoulder. She laughed in surprise.

"_Mac_."

There was something in his whisper that turned her expression to one of concern. She responded quietly, realizing peripherally that they were getting puzzled looks from the staff.

"Harm? Are you all right?" She tried to pull back to look at him, to figure out what was going on, but he wouldn't let go. He whispered her name again. Slowly, she put her arms around him, holding him tight, rubbing her hand across his back. Whatever was going on, she couldn't let him down when he was so obviously upset. "It's okay, Harm," she whispered back to him. "You found me. Tell me what's going on."

He held her tighter for a moment, then released his hold, his hands sliding to rest on her shoulders. "I need to talk to you." She blinked.

"Sure. Of course. My office?" Her dark eyes were compassionate as she spoke.

"No. Not... not here." He looked around, realized that work had come to a standstill in the bullpen. He flashed a big smile at them. Mac could tell at a glance it was the fake version, but then, she also knew he was perfectly capable of fooling most people with that smile. Good thing the Admiral wasn't here. "Ah." Harm looked back to Mac, a slight wave of panic in his eyes.

Realizing that this was rapidly turning into another one of those moments when she was called on to save her partner's life, she thought quickly, smirked at him, and gave a very theatrical sigh as she half turned toward their coworkers. "Well, well, well. I guess that means I won the bet. And don't think that throwing yourself on the mercy of this court is going to work." She rolled her eyes across the audience, looked primly back at the commander. "It's not my fault if you can't go for three months without a speeding ticket. You promised me two hours of paperwork!" He laughed weakly, shrugged at the rest of the office, and smiled again.

"It was worth a try."

There were scattered laughs and amused looks. The staff largely returned to what they were doing before the sideshow began. Mac looked at him, continuing in the theatrical voice.

"Now if you'll follow me, Commander, I'll pick out some choice files for you."

She headed for her office with a slightly sheepish Harm in tow. When they got inside, she closed the door halfway and turned to him, her eyes dark and serious once more. "Are you sure you don't want to talk here?"

Harm looked at her. His eyes softened their piercing gaze, and she felt something melting inside her. She looked away, ostensibly to see if the staff was still following the story. "It looks like our acting was good enough. I don't think we're the center of attention anymore, so if-" she stopped as his hand touched her cheek. He was staring at her, completely absorbed. "Harm?" He raised his other hand, cupping her face gently.

"Oh, Mac." She felt the warmth of his breath, and then the soft caress of his lips chastely brushed against her cheek. He pulled back carefully. "Can you come over tonight? Please? I'll make dinner... and we can talk." She opened her eyes, which had closed of their own volition, and it seemed a thought crossed his mind. Mac knew that 'deer in the headlights' look all too well. "Unless - you don't want to? I mean, if you have other, ah..."

She blinked at him, again. "Harmon Rabb, if I don't get a full explanation, and I mean _full_, of whatever is going on in that flyboy brain of yours, I'll -" she stopped. "I don't know what I'll do." A smile slowly spread from her eyes to her lips. "But I'll make sure you don't like it. What are you cooking?"

He looked happier than she had seen him in months. "Anything you want. Anything." She was tilting her head curiously, when a sly smile crossed her lips.

"Surprise me."

"Okay." Her smile began to fade when his expression became nervous once more. "So, ah, which files do you want me to take?"

"Files?"

"Yeah, you said I was going to do paperwork for you…" He trailed off, and she almost laughed at the little-boy look in his eyes.

"Harm, I was just trying to get us out of there. You don't have to do any paperwork for me."

He looked almost disappointed. "Well, okay." He moved toward the door, and stopped with his hand on the frame. "I'd do it, you know."

"I know. But you really don't owe me any work time."

The sea-blue of his eyes grew brighter as he stared at her, as if his heart was beating just a bit faster. "I owe you a lot more than that."

Harm ducked out before she could say anything else, and Mac stood at her desk staring at the door for quite some time before she shook her head and realized she'd left her paperwork in the copier. She was ready to walk out and get them when the worried questions began, as they always did when she had a particularly interesting experience with her sometime partner. Especially if he wanted to 'talk'.

_Is this good? Is it bad? Has he decided he knows why we can never get together? Has he fallen for someone else, and wants me, his 'best friend', to be the first to know?_

"Auugh." She turned and leaned against the door, closing it, and put her face in her hands for a moment. When she took them away, the woman of resolve, the highly competent Marine, was back. Moving to her desk, she hit the intercom.

"Tiner. What can I do for you, Ma'am?"

"Yes, Tiner, I think I left my files on the copier. I'm in the middle of things here, could check for me?"

"Sure thing, Ma'am. I'll bring them over."

"Thank you."

Mac sat down and pulled a couple of files closer, opening them to support her claim of busyness. As she did so, she chuckled, sighed, and tried to get her mind to be quiet long enough to get some work done.

He wants to talk.


	3. Harm's Apartment

Again, thanks to the readers. Extra special thanks to the reviewers. Mwah!

I'm having far too much fun hanging out with these guys this week. Just the break from an incredibly fatiguing work month that I need!

* * *

_Harm's Apartment_

Mac stood outside the door and hesitated, brushing a hand over her hair and straightening the light jacket draped over her arm. She looked down at her outfit - dark pants and a low cut ruby shirt that gracefully accentuated her cleavage - and wondered for at _least_ the fifth time if it was 'too much'. She rolled her eyes. It seemed that curiosity, nervousness, and absolute despair were taking turns with every breath she took. "Okay, Marine. Pull yourself together." She tapped on the door and it popped open as if he had been waiting with his hand on the doorknob.

"Ah. Hi. I mean, come in." He looked, she noticed, both nervous and embarrassed. It actually helped her settle down.

"Little jumpy there, flyboy. You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dinner's almost ready." She got her last chance to worry as his eyes drifted quickly down her outfit. "Wow. You- ah…" Mac watched his eyes, and grinned as she could almost see a little subroutine click into place. "That color is beautiful on you."

"Thank you." They stood uncomfortably for a moment as he looked at her, laughed nervously, and motioned for her to come in.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

She turned to look at the table as he took her jacket, and put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. Harm noticed her look and swallowed hard. "Anything?"

"Oh, Harm, it's lovely." She stepped over and reached out to touch the low vase of burgundy tulips and ivy, glowing softly by candlelight. "Very nice." Turning back to look back at him, she said softly, "I think water might be a good idea." He smiled, nodded, and filled two crystal goblets. Handing one to her, he held his up.

"To friendship," he said. She smiled, nodded. This was ground she understood.

"To friendship."

He took a deep breath just before he drank, and said, "And all it can become." She almost choked. A timer chimed into the abrupt silence and they were literally saved by the bell. "Ah. Everything's ready. Let's eat, Mac."

* * *

Dinner was calm. Harm asked how the Tannister case was going, and they segued into talking casually about the office, about some car work she was having done, about _anything _but a frantic hug in the middle of the bullpen, an undefined kiss in her office and a romantic setting tonight. When the last of the tiramisu was gone, they adjourned to the couch, sipping tea.

"That was delicious, Harm. Thank you."

He shrugged. "I hoped you would like it. I wasn't sure." Putting his mug down on the coffeetable, he walked over to the stereo and changed the CD. "That peppercorn sauce was new for me, and I didn't know if-"

"Harm, for heaven's sake. You made steaks! They'd have to be compressed soy protein - and with that sauce, it would have had to be _overcooked_ compressed soy protein at that - for me not to be happy with them." They both laughed as he returned to the couch, and she watched him for a quiet moment.

"So?"

His eyes looked up at her, his head still tipped down. "So. Well. I suppose you're wondering..." He floundered, sipped from his mug and put it down again. "I don't quite know what to say."

"Try."

He looked deep into her eyes, and saw the humor waiting there, overlaid with a familiar tension. "Mac. I told you about Lieutenant Michaels. I didn't tell you everything." She listened quietly as he related the story of his morning. When he had finished, she shook her head sympathetically, sipped her tea and sighed.

"The poor guy. As if it wasn't bad enough to lose a colleague."

"Yeah."

"Do you think he'll be alright?"

Harm nodded. "I'll be keeping an eye on him." Then, running his finger around the edge of his mug as he stared into the depths of his drink, he added, "I found that I really identified with him."

Mac felt the ground shifting, and instinctively pulled back. "Really."

"Really. I listened to him, and all I heard was myself… and I suddenly realized, I've been afraid."

She put down her tea and sat back into the couch, long standing defense mechanisms tensing against what might be coming. Is this what the evening was about? He'd finally figured out … what? With stunning clarity she realized that although she had always wanted an explanation from him of why they couldn't be together, the last thing she wanted right now was to actually_ hear what it was._

"Afraid of what, Harm?" Her concern got the best of her when she saw the expression that came over his handsome features.

"Afraid that I'd lose my best friend. Afraid that we'd end up hating each other. Afraid that you'd go away..."

She exhaled, reached over and put her hand on his arm. "Hey. We both have abandonment issues. You'd think after all this time we'd trust each other more than that, but..." She shook her head, took a deep breath. No need to make this harder than it was. "So something is clear to you now?"

His eyes widened as he tipped his head, then a smile grew irresistibly across his face.

"Yeah. Something is clear. It took a while for me to figure out just what it was, but -" He shook his head. "Mac, I found something I'm even more afraid of than us trying and failing."

Here it comes. Whatever he says you are not going to cry again, Mackenzie. "What's that?" Her voice was a bare whisper.

Harm took a deep breath. "I'm more afraid of never being able to see you again. To touch you again. As long as we're both on the planet, I know we'll eventually see each other, we'll talk again no matter what. God knows we're too damn stubborn to leave anything that important alone." Shifting uncomfortably, he stared at the floor. "I couldn't get anything done at work today after you left for the meeting with Tannister. All I could see was you … dead. Gone. No way for me to rush in and save you, or at least die trying..."

His voice, always so strong and clear, shook for a moment. Mac could feel the intensity of his emotions and reached out impulsively to take his hand, which he grasped as if it were his only link to survival. "I thought of never having a chance again, of something ending our chances..." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it reverentially. "I know I must have thought about it before, but maybe I've just never _felt _it that way before. I don't know why. But I'm sorry I haven't."

Mac looked down for a long moment, fighting with her own resolve. "Actually, Harm, that's exactly how I felt when your plane went down. The night before I was supposed to marry Mic. I realized it then. I knew in my heart and soul that night how it would feel to never see you again."

She looked up with watery eyes. "I couldn't stop seeing you under the water, drowning, not able to help you… it was such a clear picture in my mind." The marine took an abrupt breath and swallowed hard. "I still have nightmares sometimes." She attempted a laugh, as if it were nothing, but her breath caught and she frowned down at the floor, trying not to cry.

"Oh, Mac. I'm sorry." He hesitated, then said quietly, "I have nightmares too. But in those, I'm drowning and you walk away..."

"Harm." She whispered, hurt. "I would never -"

"I know. I know that. Mac..." He held her hand more tightly, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry I'm an idiot."

She looked at him, staring so sincerely at her, and felt an abrupt opening warmth in her chest, as if a bubble had burst. Suddenly she couldn't help giggling. Sniffing, she dabbed at her face with her napkin. "That's okay, Harm. I'm actually pretty used to it by now." He laughed with her, then folded her delicate hand in both of his.

"Listen, Sarah. Are you willing to take a chance-" Harm grinned, gave her half a smile. "With a lawyer slash pilot of questionable intelligence? One who, I promise, catches on eventually?" His expression stayed the same while his eyes became seriously earnest. "Please."

Mac looked down at their hands for a long moment, then back up at his handsome, slightly worried face. The face that she knew so well, in all of its moods and feelings. The face that haunted her dreams as well as her nightmares. She sighed.

"You're right about one thing. Even if it didn't work out, we are too stubborn to never be friends again."

"Can we promise that?"

He looked so young for a moment, she had to blink. She took a deep breath. "I promise, Harmon Rabb, that no matter what, I won't walk away if you're drowning. You're my friend, first and always."

He grinned, as she hoped he would, and nodded. "And I promise - Sarah - that we'll always be friends, no matter how stupid we get sometimes."

She leaned closer, and he felt himself falling heartfirst into the liquid midnight of her eyes. He felt, as much as heard, her silky whisper. "So what have we got to lose?"

For a brief, eternal moment, he stared into her with earnestly burning passion; the same passion she saw when he talked about flying, or truth, or justice. Subtly, something in that look changed as he lowered his lips to hers.

With a little thrill of shock Mac recognized the expression, although she rarely saw it in her friend's face, and never with such ecstatic release.

_________Surrender._


	4. Couch Conversations

Again, thanking the extremely kind souls who read and review.

* * *

They had been sitting on the couch kissing for what seemed like minutes, although their mugs of tea were quite cold by now. Harm felt Mac's hand slipping smoothly from the back of his neck into the scant space between them as she reached for the top button of his shirt. So many thoughts ran through his mind at once that he froze. She felt him withdraw and pulled away with a frown.

"What is it?"

"Mac... I... uh... don't know how to say this."

Her expression ran headlong through confusion to hurt. "I take it I misunderstood something?" The chill in her voice was evident. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." Every inch the Colonel, Mac tried to stand up to make a dignified retreat, pointedly staring away from him. _Why does this always happen? Why do I let myself even hope?_

Harm still had his arms tight around her, and clearly was not letting go.

"If you would just let go, I could leave without making any more of a fool of myself." His continued silence finally made her look into his eyes.

What she saw there took her totally by surprise.

She had never seen the sea-green of his eyes look quite so dark, so pained, and she hadn't seen him cry more than twice in all their years together - yet it seemed water was rising now. Mac steeled herself against her response and spoke tersely.

"Well?"

"Sarah." His voice was a caress, as gentle as his hand that delicately traced her jawline, coming to rest on her cheek. "Please. Let me tell you what I'm thinking." He felt her defenses dropping in spite of herself, and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Please don't leave. I don't want you to leave. It's not that at all."

Mac felt the carefully reinforced walls falling, and for a moment, felt like she might cry as well. She looked away from the compelling vision of his eyes and stared down at the floor, a flush of embarrassment on her face. "I- I'm sorry. That I didn't give you a chance to tell me what's going on, I mean."

"No, Mac, I'm sorry. You have these reactions because of what an idiot I've been in the past." His thumb brushed across her lips, and she looked at him again. "I've hurt you so much, I don't know if you'll ever trust me. If you'll ever expect something good _first_."

"Oh, Harm. We've hurt each other." Her hand came up to rest on his. "And I do trust you." Taking his hand from her cheek, she quietly kissed it. Struggling with herself, she finally blurted out, "But I admit I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but ... I still tend to shoot first and ask questions later."

His hopeful smile did more for her confidence than she would have admitted. "Trying is all we can hope for. We've got a lot to get past." She nodded.

"So. Why _did_ you stop?" Her voice was strong but thin, a little girl wanting desperately to be a soldier. He hugged her hard for a moment, thinking, before taking a deep breath.

"Can I tell you a story?"

She stared, puzzled, and tilted her head at him. "I don't understand."

"Can I tell you a story?" His eyes twinkled a bit as he looked at her, hope and affection dancing there. "Begging the court's indulgence."

Mac sat back a little, looked a bit dubious, and said, "I'm listening." Harm nodded.

"Thank you." Shifting so that they were a little farther apart, but never letting go of her hand, Harm began.

"You know I wanted to fly from the time I was a little boy." Mac blinked in surprise at the seemingly random statement, but nodded. "When I was a teenager, I learned to fly small planes, and I was pretty good at it. They let you take the stick in the air with someone else before they let you try take offs and landings, you know. There are a lot of steps involved in learning everything you have to learn. You want to make sure you get comfortable with each one before you move on."

"I've heard."

"When I started flight school in the Navy, I remember they took the bunch of us down to the airfield. I hadn't been in an F-14 since my dad's, when I was a kid. Hadn't even been close."

She found herself drawn in by the sudden, open passion in his voice. This was part of him, a huge part of what made him Harmon Rabb. "What was that like for you?"

He grinned. "Well, it was smaller than I remembered." She smiled warmly at that remark, and he took it as a good sign. "But it was amazing. _Amazing_. All I wanted to do, from the moment I set eyes on that plane, was to get her up in the air. I wanted to fly a Tomcat more than anything. More than I wanted to breathe." His eyes lit up at the memory, and she felt her heart melting fondly. "It was love at first sight."

"I'm not really surprised." She said, watching the light dance in his eyes.

"No, I suppose not." Harm paused again, looked more serious. "But here's the thing, Mac. If I _had_ just jumped into that plane, and tried to fly it without learning how, and without, for that matter, _unlearning_ things I thought I knew that really only applied to the less complicated planes I'd flown before... well." He looked down. "I could have really hurt someone. Myself, for one, not to mention a plane that would never have a chance to get off the ground again."

Mac sat quietly and waited for him to go on. "By the time I actually took my first solo, I was so ready... it was incredible." Harm twined his fingers between hers and sighed. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately, because flying is one thing in my life that I've managed to be really good at. One thing that I've managed not to screw up." He took a deep breath and his tone abruptly became businesslike. "So here's the thing. I figure there's two ways we can go here."

Mac blinked and tried to keep up with his chain of thought. With everything they had already been through today, it was increasingly difficult to stay focused. "Ways we can go?"

"Yeah. We can take our time, learn a step at a time... or we can throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may." He leaned closer to her, close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke quietly. "Sarah, I want _nothing_ more than to be with you tonight. Completely. I've dreamed of it for so long, and wanted you for so long." Her breath caught a little as she realized what was going through his mind, and she looked into his eyes with unmistakable, shared desire.

"But frankly," he said with a rueful grin, "we've been letting the chips fall where they may for so many years that we can hardly walk through them anymore." She laughed at that, the tension broken, and they hugged again. "What do you think?"

She thought for a while, until he pulled back to look down at her a bit nervously. "Mac?"

"I think," she said, "that you're getting awfully smart in your old age."

"I don't know about that. What _do_ you think? What do _you_ want to do?"

The laugh that escaped from her was hardly ladylike. "What I _want_ to do and what would be a _good idea_ are very likely two different things, in two different categories if not universes." He chortled a little laugh. "But I think you're right." She looked up into his eyes, resting a bit against his chest. "Let's take our time. We'll wait." Softly, she added, "At least before we actually try flying." The determination that tempered the desire and devotion in her eyes went through him like lightning.

He ran his hand over her hair, down her cheek to her throat. Gently he lifted her chin so she faced up to him, leaned over and took her lips with his, the opening of their hearts to each other feeding the closeness of their contact. So intense was the feeling that when they broke off, she gasped breathlessly. Holding her tightly against the tremble in his own chest, he whispered. "Mac?" She made a little noise of acknowledgment. "Just how long do we wait?"

She inhaled shakily. "Um. No more than ...a month?"

He nodded, a little shaky himself. "And no less than a week?"

She giggled and nodded into his chest. "Let's try for three weeks."

"Deal." They kissed on it, a bit more carefully.

"If that's the case, though, I should probably leave now." He looked at her, crestfallen, as she reluctantly disentangled herself and stood.

"Now?"

"Harmon Rabb. Lead us not into temptation."

"No, no, I don't want to do that, I mean, I do, but..." He stopped, laughed, started again. "Couldn't you just stay?"

Mac looked into his earnest expression and felt herself wavering. "Look, Harm, I think waiting is a good idea. But I'm only human, and I've wanted to be here for a long time. I'm not sure how strong I feel, especially after... all this..." She put her hands over her eyes, shook her head. "Augh. Listen to me. Such a solid, determined Marine."

"I'll say." He laughed and pulled her into his arms again. "Listen, beautiful, I feel very strongly about this right now. And I'm tired, at least I could be if I tried." He looked down at her and suddenly looked very serious. "This is one thing I really don't want to take a chance at messing up." As she looked at him, considering, he went for broke.

"Besides. I'm afraid if you go, I'll think that none of this really happened, and I'll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I had the nightmare again."

"Oh, Harm, no fair..." She stood on her toes and kissed him gently. "Alright, you win. I'll stay. But I wish I had something to change into."

His head jerked up suddenly. "You do. You have your running bag here."

"That's right!" Pulling away from him she dashed to the closet and pulled out her bag, rummaging through it. "Hmmm. Shorts, tank, tee, sweats..." She looked up at him thoughtfully and bent back to her task. "I think sweats and tee." His eyes grew wide.

"Good idea. I've seen you in that shorts and tank number."

Mac looked at him with mock indignation. "And what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means, my lovely and curvaceous colonel," he said as he walked over to her, making her giggle again, "that you can make it damn difficult for a poor, hardworking commander to avoid a red light." He kissed her again through their laughter.

"You can change in there..." Harm gestured toward the bedroom, and realized that they were both staring at the door doubtfully. "Or the bathroom." She nodded, grabbed the bag and went to change. By the time she came out, Harm had changed into soft cotton pants, and they moved back to the couch. Somehow it seemed safer than the bed.

"Movie?"

"I don't think so. If we're just going to sleep we should really try it."

Harm laughed. "Good point. I can use the practice, anyway. I haven't been sleeping much lately."

Concern furrowed her brow. "Why not?"

"Dunno." He looked away and back, and she hadn't changed her expression or moved. "Well, I don't think I know."

"Harm..." She felt the worry in her stomach, and realized with an odd sense of pleasure that for the first time, it was perfectly appropriate to feel like she wanted to take care of the man. It was alright to try to help him, if she could.

He sighed. "Work's been a little tense, you know that."

"That's for sure, but it usually is."

"And, well... I guess I've been angry with myself lately. Fed up." He looked away and studied the wall. "When I'm alone I haven't been enjoying the company."

She tilted her head, brushed her hand over his hair. "Little hard on yourself, aren't you, flyboy?"

"I suppose. I just felt like I wasn't doing the things I wanted to do, and the things I was doing weren't making me happy."

Mac sat down on one end of the couch as he pulled out a woven cotton blanket. She put a throw pillow in her lap. "Lay here."

"You sure?"

Her smile warmed his heart. "Yes. I've always wanted to do this."

"But you won't be able to-"

"I'll be fine. Just lay down." She grinned. "Don't make me order you." His expression froze. "Harm?"

"Sorry. Another thought for another day."

Mac laughed out loud. "You've had that fantasy too?" His eyes widened and she laughed again. "Let's not discuss that for a month or so, alright?" She patted the couch again, mischief still dancing in her dark eyes.

Harm grinned a shrug and stretched out his long body on the couch, resting his head in her lap. She adjusted the blanket to cover him better as he watched her contentedly. "I can hardly believe this is real, Mac."

"I know. Close your eyes." He looked into her face once more, kissed her hand, and closed his eyes. She ran her fingers delicately over his face and into his hair, massaging his scalp, the back of his neck. He sighed. She felt his body relaxing under her ministrations and smiled to herself. Very softly she said, "And how do you feel now?"

"Hmh?"

"Are you happy?"

He smiled, sleepily. "Very happy."

"Good." She took his hands and massaged them one at a time, finding pressure points that helped to release tension.

"That feels wonderful... thank you."

"You're welcome. Now sleep."

"Goodnight, Mac."

"Goodnight, Harm."

She paused from her massage to reach over and turn off the last light, leaving the apartment dark except for the dim lightspill from the window that barely highlighted his features. Looking down at the handsome face, the beautifully toned body that housed her best friend, she felt an overwhelming urge to thank the universe. Leaning over carefully she kissed his forehead. He let out a little sigh. Resting his hands on his chest, she let her head fall back against the cushions, and closed her eyes.

"Sarah?" The voice was sleep-blurred and quiet.

"Yes?"

"Your turn next time." She giggled silently as he turned on his side, and cradled his head as he nuzzled against her, falling soundly asleep.


	5. Admiral's Dinner

Muchos smooches to the reviewers. Thank you for the encouragement! The outline goes for a while longer, if you want more… and we get back to Harm and Mac. In the meantime, I'm not thrilled with the way TPTB are messing up _other_ relationships, even working relationship/friendships… and so this gentle detour.

* * *

_Harm's Office_

_JAG Headquarters_

Thursday Morning

Commander Harmon Rabb stood by the bookshelf in his office, staring at a familiar picture. He ran his hand over the frame and sighed.

_I wish I could talk to you about all this, Dad…_

Mac was out of town for at least three days, checking out a complaint of sexual harassment aboard the Seahawk. Things were going so incredibly well between them that he felt almost like he must be missing something. He just wanted another perspective, one that knew them but wasn't quite as close to the situation as he was. He wanted someone to talk to, to get advice from. _It's too important not to bounce off someone. I don't want to mess this up._

Shaking his head, he pulled a slat of the blinds down with one finger and looked out into the bullpen. Coming out of the Admiral's office was Sturgis Turner, one of his closest friends. Surely Sturgis knew something about what had begun last week. Mac told Harm three days ago, blushing, about her accidental confession of affection in front of his old friend. Harm grinned at the memory and shook his head. It wasn't that he didn't trust Sturgis, it was that talking to him about _this _just didn't feel quite… right.

Bud Roberts walked through the space next, and Harm frowned. _Why _not _Bud?_ Certainly the man had been through a lot, besides having a successful career and marriage. Bud was probably the closest thing to a brother, sidekick and backup man that Harm had, at least in this country. _Yeah, but Bud and Harriet have been rooting for us for so long, there's no way he'd be objective. And anything I said to him would go to Harriet as well… _he sighed at his indecision and let the slat snap back into place.

Better to wait and have a dinner with all four of them. It would be a party instead of… he paused. Instead of what? What was it he wanted? Picking up the picture frame, he spoke quietly. "I guess I want a father to talk to, eh, Dad?" Frank, his stepfather, had always been supportive, but it wasn't the same. His finger traced over the image of the smiling man standing next to the fighter jet. "I wish there was someone who could see me the way you would, who would understand the complications..."

With a slight frown, Harm looked up through the blinds again. His gaze drifted towards the Admiral's door. He stared for a long minute, shook his head. "Nah. That would be crazy." The phone rang, and he leaned over the desk to pick it up. He answered crisply. "Rabb."

"Commander, I need to talk to you. Get in here pronto."

"Aye, Sir." The receiver clicked in his ear, and Harm stared at it for a minute before hanging it up carefully. He regarded the picture in his other hand suspiciously. "That wasn't funny."

* * *

Admiral AJ Chegwidden looked over his reading glasses at the commander who sat, in his opinion, a bit nervously in the leather guest chair. "I think that's all."

"Thank you, sir. I'll get on it."

"Good." He paused, waiting for Harm to stand. When nothing happened, he continued. ""Something on your mind, Commander Rabb?"

Harm's eyes darted up nervously. "Ah, no, Sir. I mean... no." He shook his head as he stood. "Sir."

The Admiral sighed inwardly. _I'm too old for this._ "Fine. Dismissed."

Then he waited for it as Rabb barked "Aye, Sir," and made a tidy about-face for the door. He stopped with his hand on the knob, just as AJ had reached '5' in his count. _Right on schedule. I haven't lost my touch._

"Sir?"

"Rabb?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Chegwidden looked at him with the lazy power of a jungle cat. "Make it fast, Commander, I'm busy here."

"Yes Sir. I was just wondering if you were busy after work tonight." The younger officer was practically sweating.

"I have plans. Why. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing, Sir. I just wondered if you might want to go to McMurphy's…" Harm stopped abruptly at the Admiral's expression.

"The two of us?"

"Well, yes, Sir."

"Are you asking me out, Commander?"

"No, Sir. I mean, well, I guess I was just thinking it might be nice to talk outside the office…" He floundered as AJ sat back and stared as if he had two heads.

"I don't know that it would be wise."

"Certainly, Sir. I apologize."

"Dismissed."

"Aye, Sir."

As Harm walked past Tiner, the yeoman could hear him muttering under his breath, _"Stupid, stupid, stupid."_ Somehow it was clear that the Commander was talking about himself. Tiner shrugged. Just another day at the office.

AJ sat at his desk writing, and stopped. He stared at the door, shook his head and went back to work, his concern as always masked by an expression of annoyance.

* * *

_Voglio's Italian Restaurant_

Thursday Evening

"What do you think he wanted to talk about?"

"Who knows. I've got enough trouble with the Secretary thinking I've got no control over discipline in the office without going out for a drink with my most out-of-control lawyer."

Meredith tilted her head to the side, watching him. "You could just as easily describe him as your most devoted, most determined, most successful lawyer." She adjusted her napkin distractedly. "From what I've heard of you at that age, he sounds a lot –"

"Don't you start defending him." Their eyes met, and AJ looked away for a moment, grinned slightly, and looked back at her. "You're supposed to be on my side, remember?"

"And I am, dear. But I can't help wondering what might be happening if Harm came and wanted to get together with you. Has he ever made overtures like that before?"

AJ considered as he ripped a piece of bread, dipped it in the herbed oil and took a bite. "Not that I recall."

Meredith opened her mouth to speak, and closed it again. She picked up her wineglass and took a delicate sip.

"What, Meredith." His voice had a weary, affectionate acceptance in it.

"I beg your pardon?"

He leaned his chin on his palm, his elbow on the corner of the table between them. "I know when you're trying not to say something. You always do eventually." He smiled at her look of imaginary dismay. "You may as well go ahead."

She smiled at him, put her glass down. "If you insist." She ignored his response to that and went on. "You know he's been going through a lot lately, AJ. Maybe he needs someone to talk to. Someone older and wiser, perhaps?"

"Oh, no you don't. There is no way I'm old enough to be a father figure to that boy. Man." He bit his tongue in consternation. Meredith laughed.

"I'm a teacher, AJ. I know that being a parental figure is a state of mind, not an age. Besides, he lost his father when he was very young. Do you realize he's probably been in your command, at this point, longer than he was aware of his father being around?" She paused as he stared at the candle on the table, considering. "His dad was Navy, he was an authority figure, he was someone who he saw as larger than life. A hero."

"Meredith –"

"I'm just pointing out the similarities."

"Meredith, I'm his commanding officer. That's all. His boss. He has to answer to me, but I'm not some icon that he puts up on a pedestal, nor do I want to be."

She grinned and twirled a few strands of fettuccine on her fork. "Methinks the Admiral doth protest a bit too much." She looked back to her plate and made an approving noise. "This is delicious. Say, speaking of Harm, did you ever get that vegetarian lasagna recipe?"

He shook his head, saying nothing, and returned to attacking his chicken, which looked particularly defenseless. She let him take out some of his denial on his meal before speaking again, seeming to change the subject.

"You remember that I've got that regional conference tomorrow."

He sipped his wine, still not making eye contact. "Right."

"So I'll be gone all evening. If it gets really late, I'll probably stay over with Janice."

"Right."

"So you'll have the house to yourself."

He paused, fork halfway to his mouth. Slowly his eyes panned over to her, where she sat innocently spearing a shrimp. Too innocently. He dropped the fork onto his plate with a clatter and held out his hand. Meredith blinked at him, her expression carefully neutral, and handed him her cell phone. AJ punched in a number without looking away from her, an expression on his face that would have struck dread in any of the officers under his command. Meredith simply smiled. The voice that picked up on the other end sounded weary.

"Rabb."

"Commander. You're still at the office?"

"Oh, yes, Admiral. I was just getting some loose ends tied up on the missile system investigation." AJ could almost hear the frown. "Is anything wrong? Can I do something for you, Sir?"

AJ sighed and continued to stare at his fiancé. "No, nothing wrong. I was just wondering," his eyes closed briefly as he frowned. "You remember that vegetarian lasagna recipe you offered to teach me?"

"Ah, yes, Sir…"

"Well, Meredith is out of town tomorrow, I thought you could come over, we could work on it." He stopped, looked over and caught the brunt of her most teacherly look. "I mean, would you be willing to join me for an educational dinner. Harm." She looked relieved. AJ rolled his eyes. Swinging the receiver up away from his mouth, he whispered, "Just wait until I get you home." Meredith gave a wicked chuckle and refilled their wineglasses.

There was a pause. "At your house, Sir?"

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No, not at all. That would be great." Another, shorter pause. "Thank you, Sir."

"Don't thank me yet, you're going to have to help cook."

The smile was evident in Harm's voice. "I'd be glad to."

"Fine. 1900?"

"Fine. Great."

"And Rabb?"

"Yes, Sir?"

He sighed. "Let's keep this as quiet as we can. I don't want it to turn into a cooking school."

"Agreed, Admiral. Please give my best to Meredith."

"I will. And by the way, Rabb, I don't care if she is away on assignment. Go home."

"Yes, Sir. Goodnight."

AJ folded the phone and handed it back to Meredith, who smiled benignly and slipped it back into her purse. "I hope you're happy."

She laughed, more musically than one might expect. "I'm the happiest woman in the world." Leaning over, she ran her fingers lightly over his hand. "I think it's wonderful that you're doing this."

"Yeah. I could tell." He leaned toward her and kissed her slowly. "Oh, just wait until I get you home."

* * *

Harm smiled at the phone for a minute after hanging up, thinking about what he would have to bring over to the Admiral's, when suddenly his eyes widened. "You 'don't care if she is away'…" He groaned. Evidently his eagle-eyed commanding officer had already figured something was going on. Unless he was just suggesting that Harm was putting in extra hours because Mac had started on the case with him. He stared at the ceiling. "Ohh, Mac. I think I may be in trouble."

* * *

Friday Evening

_Chegwidden Residence_

Harm stood at the door, a bag of groceries tucked under one arm, a smaller bag in the other hand. The Admiral told him that he would get the bread and salad, if Harm could pick up the things for the lasagna. Now, standing at the door, Harm felt an unfamiliar nervousness. Come on, Rabb, you see him every day. You trust him with your life, you can trust him with… your lasagna. Before he could over-analyze his tension, he rang the doorbell.

AJ Chegwidden opened the door, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that made him look more like an off-duty SEAL than an Admiral. "Evening, Harm. Let me get that."

"Thanks, sir."

AJ turned back to look at him with a calculating expression. "Let's go easy on the 'sir's' tonight, alright?"

"Yes, S – " Harm looked briefly at the floor and laughed. "Sounds good."

"Good."

As they walked into the kitchen and put the bags on the counter, Harm said, "I brought my own sauce, so –"

"Wait a minute. How am I supposed to recreate this dish if we're using your sauce?"

Harm laughed. "Well, we could do sauce another night. Or you could use your own."

AJ stared. "My own. Right."

"Perhaps Meredith makes…" Their eyes met and Harm didn't bother to finish. "Ah. Right."

AJ pulled the box of lasagna noodles out and stared at them. "You know, these have always been my least favorite part of making lasagna. They're such a pain."

"Yeah, I usually make my own sheets of pasta. Then you don't have to deal with the whole hot pasta dance."

The Admiral looked thoughtful. "You know, Meredith gave me a pasta machine. I've never used it." They looked at each other for a moment.

"You want to try it?"

"Will it take too long?"

"Not at all. In fact, if we make the pasta first, we can get everything else ready while it's drying." The Admiral nodded and ducked into the next room.

"It's here somewhere. Ah." He came back with a large box, and Harm looked excited.

"Wow. I have the old version of this one. This is a great machine." He started to unpack it, and the Admiral grinned behind his back.

"It's a pasta machine, Harm, not a 'vette." Turning toward the refrigerator, he said, "You want something to drink? Or should we be traditional and start on the wine while we're cooking?"

"Well, we do have to taste as we go…"

Two hours later the kitchen smelled like a particularly good Italian restaurant, and dinner was finishing up in the oven. AJ looked around. "Will you look at this place?"

Harm looked, frowning slightly. The assembling of the pasta maker had taken any remaining tension out the meeting, and the wine didn't hurt. "You think this is messy?"

"No. I think it looks like we weren't even cooking." He refilled their glasses and motioned Harm toward the den. "Where are the women when we do things without making a mess?" Harm laughed and followed him into a large, comfortable room. The couch and chairs were upholstered in brown leather, and bookshelves lined three walls. A large mahogany desk took up one corner, and a burgundy oriental rug softened the hardwood floor.

"Wow. Nice."

"Thanks." They sat down comfortably. With a reluctant grin, the Admiral said, "So I suppose this is where one of us says, 'speaking of women…'" Harm laughed, a little nervously.

"Admiral. I wanted to talk to you about Colonel Mackenzie and me."

"Really."

"I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position, being our commanding officer –"

"Do you have a lawyer?" The Admiral's interruption caught Harm by surprise.

"Ah, well, I used Bud once. Usually I take care of things myself."

"I'm not surprised." AJ stretched his long legs out and put his feet up on the ottoman. "Here's the deal. Rules about fraternization are established to protect the military. You know that. However, I don't believe you two would act any differently if you were 'involved' than you do as friends. You'd still pull her out of a burning building before the rest of us." Harm chuckled. "If you get into any trouble, you can bet your ass it'll be with me before anyone else. If it's 'anyone else', well… at that point I suppose you'll need a lawyer. One who knows you both, and could defend your actions." He swirled the wine in his glass, making a garnet whirlpool.

"You would do that, Sir?" The sincerity in Harm's wide eyes made AJ grin in spite of himself.

"I would. So we have lawyer/client going for both of us, got it?"

"Thank you."

AJ nodded. "So what's going on?"

Harm leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as he held the glass with both hands. "We seem to be dating."

"Seem?"

"Well… we're taking our time."

"Good."

"Yeah. And I know there're things we have to work on, things that we need to talk about…" His eyes raised and met the Admiral's. "I really don't want to mess this up."

The Admiral's voice was surprisingly gentle. "And why do you think you might 'mess it up'?"

Harm chuckled softly. "We both know I haven't got the best track record."

"Neither has she, as I recall."

The younger man shrugged. "I guess." They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping occasionally. When the Admiral spoke, it came out of nowhere.

"You care about her, Harm?"

"Absolutely."

"Enough to work on yourself?"

"I'd change for her –"

"No, not change for her. Work on yourself. As in take a hard look at why you do what you do, and figure out how and if it can coexist with why she does the things she does." Harm looked at him, puzzled. "For example. You say you don't have a good track record. Do you know why?"

Harm stared down at his glass. "Because I'm afraid to commit – afraid that if I let myself care absolutely, then I'll never survive if they leave me, or die…" The silence sat in the room for a while.

"And how's that working for you."

The commander chuckled wearily. "I'm tired of it. I think I'm ready to give up surety for happiness."

"That sounds like a very healthy choice, Harm."

Rabb smiled down at the floor. "And I kept telling myself I couldn't have Mac." He lifted his eyes to the Admiral. "I'm tired of that, too."

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, you two should talk as much as you can… you're both lawyers, both used to having to win. That can make things… difficult."

"I hadn't really thought of it that way. We don't act like lawyers when we're talking about -" he stopped, considered carefully.

"Right. The devotion you two have for each other, even when you're 'just friends', is clear. Make sure you take off the litigation hats when you're trying to work things out. Remember that losing to someone you love, " he said, putting his feet down and leaning toward Harm, "is not losing at all. It's just trusting them with another piece of your self."

Harm looked thoughtful. "I really appreciate this, Admiral." AJ brushed it off lightly.

"Anytime, Harm." He stood and looked down at Harm's thoughtful expression. "I mean that. Let's eat."


	6. Lists and Other Discoveries

Still loving the reviewers. Thanks for all the support!

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

Monday Afternoon

Commander Harmon Rabb stepped out of his office and nodded to Bud as he headed for the elevator. Mac had been tied up on the _Seahawk _right through the weekend, and he found that the closer it came to her being home, the more he missed her. He had quietly mentioned something to that effect to the Admiral when they were in the coffee room the day before, and AJ had looked genuinely amused. "You are new at this, aren't you?"

Harm had spoken to Mac on the phone only three times in five days, knowing how closely military communications were being watched and not wanting to draw attention to themselves. Because of that, those conversations had been largely business, as they discussed the missile case they had started before she was called away – a situation that revolved around the mishandling of classified paperwork. Tracing the paper trail was tedious and time consuming, and the only thing that kept him feeling connected to her was a legal pad currently on the coffee table at his apartment. He remembered clearly how the Admiral had suggested it.

"What I would recommend, Harm, is that you try to keep track of all the things that you two need to talk about. You're lawyers; use that to your advantage. Look at your relationship as a case that needs investigating, and jot down anything you can think of that you need to know or look into. Then, when you're together, you won't waste any time on avoiding issues… or being distracted."

Harm had proceeded to have the following convoluted shore to ship phone conversation with Mac.

"Mackenzie."

"Hello, Colonel, this is Commander Rabb."

"Ah.. hello."

"Listen, Colonel, I was talking to the Admiral yesterday."

"…You were?"

"Yes. About that potential partnership deal between the two Navy and Marine officers? The ones that want to make sure that they have all the difficulties covered?"

There was just a touch of squeak in her voice. "You talked to the _Admiral_ about it?"

"Yes, he was quite helpful. It was almost as if he knew my questions before I did."

There was a pause. "Ah… good."

"Indeed. I know you're busy there, but could you grab a legal pad and write down any concerns you think they may face? When you get back we can compare notes."

"The Admiral suggested this?"

"Well, he knows that it's not a priority in the office compared to some of the other things we're working on - since they only asked for advice - but he'd like it cleared up with the minimum of interruption."

"I see. Well, I'd certainly love to know what he had to say. Thank you, Commander, I think I can wrap my brain around a list. I'll get on it."

"Great." Another pause. "Any idea when you'll be getting back?"

"Not soon enough." She chuckled. "Do they miss me in the office as much as I miss being there?"

"More than you know, Ma'am. Looking forward to your return."

Harm laughed to himself as he remembered that call. It was murder to hear her voice and not tell her how much he had been thinking of her, how he wanted to hold her… but the fun of playing the dutiful officers almost made up for it. The fact that he could start the charade and she could immediately catch on and run with it delighted him. He took a deep breath and exhaled contentedly as he walked to his car.

The Admiral had said she'd be home tomorrow, and he couldn't wait. Some laundry tonight, a little football, and try not to think about those eyes.

* * *

_Harm's Apartment_

Monday Evening

_Twelve Minutes into the Third Quarter_

Harm sat on the floor leaning against the couch and folding undershirts, stacking them neatly in a basket to his left. A beer sat on the coffee table just to his right, along with an open bag of Terra chips. The play onscreen had his total attention at the moment, and when he yelled at the call and pointed, he managed to completely crumple the shirt in his hand. "Two feet down! Are you blind?" The phone rang almost immediately.

"Rabb." He paused, gestured widely at the TV. "Yes, I saw it, no, he was not out of bounds." He shook his head vehemently. "Look, Sturgis, there's no way it's going to be upheld –" a loud cheering from the television made his eyes widen. "Fine. Fine. Rub it in. The game's not over yet. Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow." He hung up the phone, shaking his head and muttering.

Picking up the laundry basket, he was walking back to his room when abruptly the noise on the TV became even louder. He still had the basket in his hands when he dashed back to see what had happened.

"Hi."

To his absolute surprise, standing in front of the still-open door was Colonel Sarah Mackenzie in full uniform, her luggage in one hand, keys in the other. He stared at her, his jaw hanging.

"I knocked, but I could tell the TV was kind of loud so I just used my key –" she looked at his gaping expression and frowned slightly. "Was that okay? I mean –"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence. Harm unceremoniously dropped the laundry basket, vaulted over the couch and the coffee table, hit the door shut with his left hand and proceed to pin her bodily against said door, making her drop the suitcase as he kissed her passionately.

He stopped to look into her eyes, and when she caught her breath she laughed. "Surprise. Miss me?"

"They said you wouldn't be home until tomorrow," he said hoarsely, his eyes bright with happiness. "I would have picked you up." His hands cupped her face and she felt the joy welling up in her chest.

"Well, that would have been quite the scene at the airfield, wouldn't it?" She giggled and he kissed her again, more gently. "Actually, I told the Admiral that I'd be at work tomorrow."

Harm's eyes widened. "He knew?"

"Evidently." She dropped the keys, wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled his lips to hers in a kiss that could definitely lead to something other than a conversation about their commanding officer.

"Mac." Harm whispered against her ear as he held her, making her shiver with a delicious desire. He seemed to pause a moment and then said, just as quietly, but with a faint humor in his voice, "So days you're away count as two each, right?" She paused long enough for him to pull back and look at her, wondering if she was thinking –

"Nice try, Flyboy." Her hand stroked his cheek affectionately. "I brought my legal pad, I thought we could do a little work on that partnership case. That's what all the waiting is about, right?" He smiled and gestured at the coffee table where his pad was sitting next to the chips and beer, and his expression grew serious for a moment.

"Which makes me think of item six on my list – how do you feel about me drinking around you?" He looked more concerned than nervous. "I mean, I don't drink that much anyway, but I imagine that kissing while I was drinking would be like blowing smoke in the face of someone who quit." She nodded, appreciating his candor. "And of course, if the choice is a beer or kissing you, there is no choice to make."

"Frankly, Harm, I don't mind you having a drink around me. I would be distressed to see you drunk –" he nodded, 'me too', - "and yes, while we're kissing I'm sure you will find that you don't need any auxiliary intoxicants." He laughed and hugged her again, delighting in her confident tone. "Now. As much as I want to work on this, I also want to get out of this uniform and get something to eat."

He blinked at her with false innocence. "Need any help with that?" She rolled her eyes, then tilted her head and dropped her voice seductively.

"As a matter of fact, Harm, I do." He froze just long enough for her to get her revenge. "I need dinner. Desperately. So either go do some kitchen magic, or let me run out for a burger. I'm starving."

Harm nodded in resignation. "I knew you only wanted me for my extraordinary skills. I just didn't think they were the ones I use in the kitchen." She opened her mouth and he held up a finger, stopping her. "Don't go there, young lady." She laughed and he hugged her again, not wanting to let go. "I'll whip something up. You go change."

"Thanks, Navy." She picked up her suitcase and headed for the bathroom. "I'm going to grab a shower, okay? Long flight."

"No prob." He found himself dashing around the kitchen, more excited than he had been in a week, happy to be making her dinner. Passing by the window, he caught his reflection in the glass. The man he saw there was far more than happy, and Harm stopped, stared at himself curiously for a long moment. It's true. Better tell her. He shook his head as with some embarrassment he heard himself giggle, and went back to work.

Mac sipped her cranberry juice and gave a contented sigh. She leaned over the table to where Harm was sitting watching her with his chin resting on his crossed arms, and kissed him on the nose. "Thanks, Handsome. You're beginning to make me feel like a kept woman. Next time it's my house, and I cook." He smiled, picked up his ginger ale and motioned toward the couch.

"Shall we?"

"Most certainly." They sat on the couch, and he put his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her toward him. He though he saw a slight wince.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." She stretched her head from side to side and winced again. "A little achy, I guess. You know how well I sleep on a ship."

"Sit on the floor." She slipped off the couch to sit between his legs, and he began to massage her shoulders and neck, gently at first, then more strongly. Mac purred under his touch, finally flopping her head back into his lap.

"Wonderful. I feel so much better."

"Then get back up here." He leaned over to kiss her, upside down, and she giggled when he explored the possibilities of the position before moving back to sit next to him.

Mac stared into his eyes, happier than she had been in ages. _Who am I kidding? When have I ever felt quite this good? What could possibly make this any better than it is? _Her heart gave a little drop as he suddenly looked at the lists on the table, then back to her. His expression was abruptly serious.

"Mac, I want to work on those tonight, but there's something I want to tell you first. I didn't write it down, but I think it's important."

Her first impulse was to back up, to sit up straight and put the walls in place. Without warning she saw Harm's face in her mind's eye, the last time she did that. The hurt, the pain that was there because it was so hard for her to trust him. _Alright, Mackenzie. Let's look at this as a field test. What's the worst thing that can happen?_ She tried to ignore the series of answers that her ever-fertile imagination came up with. Instead, she did her best to look at him calmly, brushed her hand over his. "What's that, Flyboy?"

He appeared to see the effort she made. With an easy motion he pulled her toward him and turned her body so that she was lying back across his chest, cradled in his arms. Brushing the back of his hand along her neck, he lifted her chin. He paused with his mouth so close to hers she felt the warmth of his breath on her face, waited long enough that she gave an anxious shiver, and lowered his lips to hers.

Mac felt herself opening to him. Felt her abdomen tighten with desire as he deepened the kiss, exploring her with powerful intimacy. A low moan escaped from her throat as she laced her hand into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him to her hungrily, and she heard a rumble in his chest as he growled in response. In the euphoria of the moment, she had what felt like a strange realization.

She had been with men who wanted to dominate her emotionally, and with men who she could easily wrap around her little finger if she wanted to… but never with someone who she felt she could call a 'soul mate'. Was that what this feeling was? He pulled back, ever so slightly, and whispered her name.

"Sarah."

She shuddered a little in her delight. He had a way of making her given name sound like the most intimate, sensual endearment in the world. Opening her eyes she looked into his, the color of the sky after a storm, and spoke softly to him.

"Yes, Harm. What did you want to tell me?" After that kiss, he could have told her anything. He looked intensely into her for a long moment, then nodded.

"I love you." For a few seconds she stared at him, wondering if she had heard correctly. He looked away for a bare second and returned to her with the famous grin. "I feel like I've said it a thousand times, but never out loud, never to your face. I love you, Mac." She smiled, her hand tracing his features as if to make sure he was real.

"I love you, Harm. I do." They kissed again, and she snuggled down into his shoulder, and her eyes watered just a little as he held her close.

"I feel… like you've opened my heart, Mac. Like I took a chance, and now I'm so much more alive. I feel like I'm flying, with both feet still on the ground." She gave a joyous little laugh as she leaned back to look at him, and then shifted around so that she was on her knees straddling his lap, her hands on his shoulders. Her expression grew more solemn.

"You know, Harm, all my life I've felt like I have to prove I can do it alone."

"And you have. You've done great."

"Yes, yes I have. But there's always been this other side, the one that said I needed someone to love me to make me feel worthwhile."

He kissed her forehead, and said very gently, "I know. I've never understood why everyone can see – beyond the devout Marine, beyond the phenomenal lawyer - what an amazing woman you are… except you." Harm looked hesitant before he added, "I wish I could take that misconception away."

Her smile was affectionate. "I'm the only one who can do that. I put myself in a lose/lose situation. I had to be alone to be a successful officer, and I wasn't worth anything as a woman if I was alone." Her eyes were watering with the force of a lifetime of struggle. "But during this year I finally came to peace with being alone. I've been happy. I don't have to prove anything anymore." She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek. "I'm someone I like spending time with now. Now I can give myself to someone and not worry about losing a thing." Harm's eyes were shining as much as hers when she grinned at him happily. "I love you, Flyboy." She leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.

"Mac?"

"Yes?"

"Why did it take us so long?"

She giggled. "Shakespeare has a great line that I've used about my life more than once. He said, 'If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.'" He looked at her, raised an eyebrow.

"You mean we just need better writers?"

This time she laughed out loud. "Maybe we can do our own writing now." They fell into the kiss like old lovers, old friends, and relished the sheer comfort they felt. When they stopped, Mac's dark eyes were sparkling. "Well, I've covered about four items from my list. Should we look at yours?"

He brushed her hair back from her face, and his thumb cleared away a stray tear. "Soon."

* * *

_Harm's Apartment_

Two in the Morning

"What was your favorite story when you were a kid?" Mac looked across the coffee table which was littered with tea mugs, spoons, ice cream bowls, an empty bag of chips, a pop bottle and the empty stems from a bunch of grapes.

"You're kidding." She laughed and yawned when she covered her mouth.

"Nope. The story that you'd run off to when you were playing by yourself. I want to know." His expression was serious but his eyes were laughing. "Let's just do one more each. I know I've kept you up too late."

"You're not the only one with a list, handsome." She reached across and took his hand. "But you're right. One more each, if we're just doing fun stuff now."

"You don't think discussing how we'll behave in court if we're against each other is fun?"

"I was just amused that it was three on both our lists."

"Yeah. Go figure." He kissed her fingers and smiled. "Favorite story. Go."

She looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling, and slowly smiled. "Peter Pan was always a big one for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Ironic, isn't it?"

He looked at her and laughed. "You mean because you're sitting here with the guy that everyone thinks has a Peter Pan complex?"

She giggled. "You know, eh?"

"Oh, yeah. Been called that one to my face." He looked at her a bit more seriously. "So were you Peter, or were you Wendy?" Her eyes widened.

"Perceptive, flyboy." He nodded.

"Just answer the question, ma'am."

She gave him a smug little smile. "Usually I was a lost boy. But I was a girl that no one knew was a girl…yes, and get that psychological look off your face. Sometimes I was Wendy, the caretaker… but sometimes, when I was feeling really cocky," she grinned, blushing a little, "I was Tinkerbelle."

He tried for a long moment not to laugh, but it was too late and they were too tired, and they both collapsed in a flood of giggles. "Only you would make me see Tinkerbelle as a Marine."

"She did wear green." She wiped her eyes and shook off the laughter. "Your turn. Favorite story."

He grinned down at his list. "Robin Hood."

She looked at him, wide-eyed. "I loved Robin Hood." He nodded, lifted his eyes to her face. "Rescuing the damsel in distress, working around the rules to do what's right… Yeah, I can see that."

Harm nodded. "Don't forget hiding behind a disguise when you have an uncomfortable challenge – one that could hurt." She gave him a sympathetic look. "And yeah, I was the man himself, not one of the sidekicks." Mac blinked at him a couple times and smiled.

"I like that. I'd be your Marian."

"That you would." He looked at his watch and his eyes popped. "Two-thirty? Oh, Mac, I'm sorry. You must be exhausted."

"I'm fine." She yawned in spite of herself.

"Sure you are." He stood up and grabbed the trash from the table as she gathered up the dishes. "You're staying, right?" Mac nodded again as she yawned, her hands full. "You want the bed? I could sleep here…" He dumped the trash in the garbage and wrapped his arms around her where she stood at the sink. "I feel so bad that I kept you up this late."

She turned in his arms and nestled against him. "Knock it off, Harm. I want to talk as much as you do. And I think this was wonderful." Looking up, she kissed him sweetly, then looked a little shy. "I liked sleeping on the couch with you. It felt like we were kids." Harm laughed.

Turning off the lights in the kitchen, he kissed her once more in the dark. Then he stepped away, held out his hand for hers. "C'mon, Tink. Let's go to sleep."


	7. Open Court

Many and multitudinous thanks to the reviewers on site – wildxtreme, I am familiar with that title by Swift and I liked the sound of it when I'd finished my first draft… so… yes. And to AeroGirl – (Check her out at .org), one of my early inspirations because of her excellent JAG fics - thanks for the encouragement.

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

Admiral Chegwidden's Office

0910 Tuesday

Admiral AJ Chegwidden looked thoughtfully impatient as he held the receiver to his ear. "And I don't suppose you can tell me any more than that."

"C'mon AJ, you know how it is. If you don't have time anymore, which I understand completely, can you at least spare someone?"

"No."

The voice on the line sighed wearily. "Look, it's just for a day, maybe an afternoon, every week or two. You can keep your precious stable of lawyers intact the rest of the time. For the most part, I just want someone -"

"What you want is a reference book that you can pick up when you need it. It's not that easy. I've been getting crap from the Secretary about my 'lack of control' over here."

There was a heated pause. "We both know that's –" the voice paused, clearly censoring himself. "That's ridiculous. You're the best, and your people reflect that. Otherwise I wouldn't be asking."

"Thanks," AJ drawled sarcastically. "I'll tell the Secretary you said so."

"If I thought it would do you any good, I'd tell him myself." There was a shuffling of paper on the other end. "Looking at the senior staff, I see Rabb, Mackenzie, Turner… any of those would be-"

"Highly inconvenient." AJ rubbed his fingers across his forehead and exhaled heavily. "Here's the thing. If I _do_ let one of them do this, I don't want any confusion about chain of command if you suddenly have to pull him out."

"I don't think that will happen. I already said it was strictly part time. A couple hours a week, like we've always done it. And only when -"

"Yes, but I know how these things go. Part time when you need him, and if I need him at the same time, we have trouble."

"Look, we've always been able to do this on the side before. I don't think I've ever been unreasonable about taking whatever you could set up. What's different?"

"I told you, the Secretary –"

There was an exasperated sigh. "AJ, don't make me point out my third star. One SEAL to another. What the hell is going on?"

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

_Admiral Chegwidden's Office_

1020

"Morning, Sir. Tiner said you wanted me?"

"Yes, Commander. Sit."

Harm sat, slightly apprehensive. He knew the look that the Admiral had; the one that usually would portend an unpopular assignment. "If this is about the Lewis case –"

"No, Commander, this is something else." Harm nodded attentively, his eyes vivid blue in the morning light coming through the Admiral's window. "I'll just tell you what I can, and you can give me your opinion."

"I'll do my best, Sir."

"Good." AJ closed a folder on his desk. "There's an Admiral at the Pentagon who is looking for legal advice."

"Personal advice, Sir?"

"No. Well, sort of. There's a whole slew of politically correct advice over there, but he's always come to me to chew over the legal ramifications of his decisions." Harm nodded, frowning slightly. "Once or twice a month we'd meet for lunch, make it a casual session. If there was anything I wasn't sure of, I'd look it up and get back to him. Of course there were many times he couldn't tell me what the hell I was advising him on, but we managed." The younger officer took in the Admiral's unusually warm expression, and a light dawned.

"A former teammate, Sir?"

Nodding with a faint grin, AJ continued. "Now, with everything that's happening, he wants to meet more often."

"Understandable, Sir."

"Understandable, but not practical. I've got more on my plate as well. It just isn't feasible for me at this time."

Harm looked thoughtfully at the Admiral's desk. "I can see that, Sir."

"Right." At this point AJ stood, walked around to sit in the visitor's chair next to Harm. He leaned forward, looking intently at the younger officer, his elbows resting on his knees. "When I told him I didn't think it was possible, he asked if one of my staff could do it. Someone I trusted."

Harm's eyes widened slightly as he listened.

"He said it would likely be one meeting a week, and maybe a phone connection once or twice. I know how these things go, but I think he's being realistic. Barring acts of God or Congress, of course." AJ looked Harm in the eye. "I thought you might be interested."

The Commander was speechless for a moment, locked by the eyes. "Thank you, Sir."

"I told him a few things, which he seemed to understand. One, that I can't afford to lose any staff here. Two, that whoever is taking this assignment should be directly under his command."

Harm glanced out the window toward the Pentagon, frowning thoughtfully. "I really don't want to leave JAG, Sir."

"I should hope not, Commander. If you're interested in this position, it will mean that you are in the Admiral's chain of command, that you are available to him once a week in person and probably wherever your cell reaches. It will also mean that you'll still have a full workload here, which it will be your duty to keep him informed of so as to minimize conflicts." The Admiral looked down at his folded hands for a moment before continuing. "It'll mean, Harm, that you'll still be working for me, but you'll be out of my chain of command." He waited.

Harm's thoughtful frown suddenly became a wide-eyed stare. "Are you sure about this, Sir?"

"No." He slowly allowed a grin to appear. "Are you? I imagine the extra workload and on-paper transfer will mean a bump in your pay scale, and it will probably be in the Admiral's best interest to have your security clearance upgraded…" AJ continued quietly. "It's a big responsibility, Harm. And a big challenge here. If you two can't handle working together, one of you will still have to move, and if we've put this in motion it would probably be you." The Admiral took a deep breath. "I don't want to presume too much, but I have faith in you both to not make me look bad. At _least_ if I ask nicely beforehand." Harm grinned at that, looking a bit sheepish. "Should I assume you're interested, or do you want to talk about it… with anyone… first?"

Harm flashed the smile. "Oh, I'm definitely interested, Sir. But you're right. Can I give you a final after lunch?"

"No later. Sorry for the rush, but I want this cleared up."

"Yes, Sir."

The Admiral stood and paced around to his chair again, suddenly fully in command once more. "That will be all, Commander. Dismissed."

Rabb stood to attention. "Aye, Sir." With a smooth about-face he stepped to the door, stopping halfway out to turn around and look back at the Admiral, sincerity shining in his eyes. "Thank you, Admiral. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I have a vague idea."

With a broad smile, Commander Rabb headed back to his office.

The Admiral sat writing for a moment or two, stopped, looked thoughtfully at the door. With a quiet grin he picked up the phone and hit the button for an outside line.

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

_Colonel Sarah Mackenzie's Office_

1040

"You're kidding."

"Nope." He grinned at her, shaking his head.

"Harm, that's amazing! What a great career move."

"It's a bit more than that."

"Really?" Mac was sitting back in her desk chair looking up at Harm's smiling face. "Better than being a personal legal advisor to an active Admiral?"

Harm closed the door he was leaning on and glanced through the half-closed blinds before answering. "Mac, it would transfer me to this Admiral's chain of command. I'll have more work on the side, but I won't be leaving JAG."

Mac first reaction was a frown toward her commander's office. "Why would he –" her eyes grew wide. "Are you telling me the Admiral offered it just so we…" she shook her head, unable to finish the sentence.

"No, he really does want a military lawyer. That way he can have someone with a security clearance on his own staff that he can talk to – but since what he seems to want is an outside opinion, he wouldn't want me in the office anyway.

"You don't know who it is yet?"

"Not until I take the job."

"But, Harm…"

"I know." He smiled at her. "The Admiral is giving us a chance. If we want it."

Her dark eyes were shining. "I think we've established that already."

"Agreed." He leaned over her desk, resting his palms on the smooth surface. "But it _will _be more responsibility. It could take more of my time."

Mac shrugged. "That could happen with any promotion, Harm. Anywhere." She seemed to sit a little straighter in her chair. "This is a big decision. Do you want to do this? If something happens here, and we can't pull it off..."

His eyes rose slowly from the desktop to her face. "I've made a conscious decision not to worry about us. And as for the assignment, I think it sounds interesting. If he was a teammate of the Admiral's, I should be able to get along with him." He broke into the grin. "'His and Hers' Admirals. Who would have thought of giving us a gift like that." She dropped her head and laughed. "I can't wait to come clean to the guys." A knock on the door interrupted the moment, and he picked up a pen from Mac's desk as he straightened up to open it. "Hey, Bud. I was just leaving." As he traded places with the lieutenant, Harm glanced over his shoulder. "She's all yours. At least until after lunch."

"After lunch, Sir?"

Mac covered smoothly. "We've got court this afternoon, Bud. And then the Commander will be busy losing the Foster case to me."

Harm grinned at her and walked away, calling over his shoulder. "That has yet to be seen, Colonel."

Bud looked at the Colonel and frowned slightly, then out toward the Commander's office. Turning back to her, he said, "He's in a good mood today."

Mac laughed and looked at Bud. "I can only assume that's because he thinks he's going to win."

"Is he?"

She smiled mischievously. "Not if I can help it. What can I do for you?"

He smiled at her, openly surprised. "You seem to be in a good mood, too." Mac lifted her eyebrows and blinked at him. "I mean, not that you aren't usually in a good mood, Ma'am. I mean… ah…" He stared down at the file in his hand. "I have the witness list you wanted." He held it out like overdue homework, and while Mac struggled not to grin as she took it, her expression abruptly became serious as she looked it over.

"We didn't get Major Arkin?"

"No, Ma'am, that's what I wanted you to know. He's still deployed, and they can't even tell me where he is." He looked apologetic.

She stared, bit her lower lip. "This could be difficult."

* * *

_Courtroom 6_

1310

"And because of Major Arkin's importance to the defense, and his current deployment on a classified mission, we respectfully ask for a continuance."

"Your Honor, the government feels that if the entire defense hinges on the testimony of one man, when the prosecution has any number of witnesses that can place-"

"Which all have second-hand or circumstantial accounts, your Honor. Clearly my client has shown-"

The door in the back of the courtroom opened and closed quietly. Admiral Chegwidden sat down, unnoticed by his officers as they continued to argue their cases, voices raised slightly. If he didn't know them, it would be easy to think that they were merely professional rivals, and ones that didn't get along that well. He winced internally as Harm pressed a point, making his colleague sound less than prepared. _They argue cases like some people play tennis._ He waited for the judge's comment.

"Commander Rabb, I understand that in time of war we are trying our best to expedite matters. However, I must agree with Colonel Mackenzie that it is only fair to allow an eyewitness to testify. Colonel, you should realize that there is the unfortunate possibility that Major Arkin may not return. You have two weeks. If he isn't back by then, we go on with whatever you have."

"Thank you, your Honor."

"This court is adjourned until 1430."

AJ stood quietly and slipped out the back door. He was standing there waiting as Harm and Mac exited the courtroom, talking much more calmly.

"So does Arkin really matter that much?"

"What, you think I'd bluff just to get a continuance? That's a Rabb move."

Harm clutched his chest and did his best to look wounded as he turned and saw the Admiral. Abruptly he snapped to attention. "Afternoon, Sir."

"At ease. Walk with me, people." They fell into step with him, walking out into the afternoon sun. "Nice work in there."

The two younger officers looked at each other. Their expressions were strictly professional at this point, and they prepared their defense instinctively. The Admiral did not make a habit of checking on courtroom performance unless he was concerned about something. Rabb cleared his throat. "Ah, we didn't realize you were there, Sir."

"I know that." The Admiral stopped and leaned against the stair railing, crossing his arms lazily on his chest. "Let's just say I was pleased by what I saw as 'appropriate behavior'."

"Well, Sir, we did get a little loud, but – " Mac stopped, frowned. "Did you say 'appropriate', Sir?"

"Yes. Nothing less than I expect." He shifted, looked up at the blue sky and changed the subject. "You have an answer for me, Commander?"

Harm looked at Mac for the briefest instant, then nodded. "Yes, Sir. I'd be pleased to have the opportunity."

"Good. I'll get it underway, then." He looked at Harm and extended his hand. "Good luck."

"Thank you, Sir. I'll do my best to live up to your standards."

The Admiral couldn't quite hide a smirk. "Well, you do that. I'll make the announcement at the staff meeting tomorrow."

Mac nodded to them both, her voice cheerful. "If you'll excuse me, Sir, I have to get back for a conference call about Major Arkin's last known assignment." The Admiral nodded her dismissal.

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks. I think I'm going to need it." She turned to Harm and extended her hand. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Harm smiled as she turned to leave, and suddenly looked like he remembered something important. "Oh, Mac, I almost forgot. Here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. "This is yours." She held out her hand and he placed a pen and a small metal object on her palm. She frowned down at it for a moment, then her eyes darted up to his, shining, a faint blush on her cheek.

"Ah… thank you," she said, in a tiny voice. Saluting the Admiral, she turned and walked quickly back toward her office. Harm just stood there, smiling after her. The Admiral cleared his throat.

"Do you suppose it's the Navy or the women that make us this way?"

"Beg pardon, Sir?"

"I left a bunch of pansies on the Professor's desk the first week we were dating."

"Pansies, Sir?" Harm's brow furrowed.

"Pansies. For thoughts." He looked down and pursed his lips. "Hamlet." Harm stared, a bit bewildered.

"Ah…"

"Nevermind, Commander. My point is we all find our own way to say private things in public. But let's keep it quiet. You don't know why there's a sprig of rosemary under my desk blotter, and I can't imagine why you just handed Colonel Mackenzie a thimble."

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

_Conference Room_

Wednesday 0925

Lieutenant Bud Roberts flipped the file in front of him closed, looked at the rest of the collected staff. "And that seems to be the end of it. It looks like they're dropping all charges against Corporal Lewis." He looked up with a sigh, and Mac laughed.

"You sound almost disappointed, Bud."

"It was an awful lot of work that won't get used, Ma'am. But I'm not really disappointed." He grinned at her, looked up at the opening door of the conference room and managed to be the first on his feet, even slowed by his leg. "Admiral."

"Sit down, people, this won't take long." He looked over at Colonel Mackenzie, the accepted chair of the informal meetings. "Sorry I'm late. Are you through with anything important?" She glanced down at the pad in front of her, then down the table for any input.

"Looks like the Lewis case was the last, Sir."

"Good. Then I have a little news."

The Admiral made the announcement of Harm's change in status with a minimum of fuss, and it took a minute for people to realize what was actually happening. Sturgis was the first to comment.

"So there really shouldn't be much of a change in appearances, Admiral?"

The Admiral nearly grinned. "Let's put it this way. There better not be. I don't expect to have to run a string and two cans between here and the Pentagon building." The staff chuckled and rose as one when their commander stood to leave. "Dismissed." The Admiral was at the door when he heard Rabb clear his throat over the casual chatter that marked the end of the meeting.

"Colonel Mackenzie?" Harm's clear voice rang out in the room, so that no one could help hearing.

She looked up at his formality, replying with equal gravity as she handed Bud a stack of folders. "Commander Rabb?"

"I was wondering if you were free for dinner this evening."

There was a moment of absolute silence when it seemed everyone in the room was holding their breath. Eyes darted from Harm to Mac to where the Admiral stood with his back to the room, one hand on the doorknob, but no one seemed willing to move. Mac blinked, a little startled. "You mean to work on –"

"No, Mac, I mean I would like to take you out to dinner. On a date." His eyes sparkled and he broke into the grin. "If you're available." All eyes were on the two of them, in a spell that was broken abruptly at the sound of the Admiral opening the door and leaving with a heavy sigh. Mac looked at Harm a little nervously, the blush on her cheek faint.

"I'd be delighted."

"May I pick you up at, say, seven?"

"That would be lovely." She turned smoothly and walked back into the corridor, leaving the rest of them staring at Harm. Sturgis was the first to break the silence.

"You dog."

Sarah Mackenzie stood in the quiet hallway, looking up toward the heavens with tears smiling in her eyes. He'd given up his place in the seniority line here at JAG. He'd publicly asked her out. Their boss seemed pleased with their behavior in court. And he had given her a thimble… Having nothing else to worry about, her mind suddenly came up with the only question it could.

_What in the world will I wear?_

Laughing to herself, she walked back through the bullpen in a warm, romantic blur.


	8. Thimbles of Affection

Many thanks to the readers, and thanks for more reviews than I've ever had! Yee Hah!

Oh… because a few people asked, and because they also reviewed…. Bud helps me explain a certain thimble…

Hoping for one more chapter. Let me know what you think.

* * *

_JAG Headquarters_

_Commander Rabb's Office_

Three Months Later

"It's Friday, sir." Harm looked up from his paperwork to see the smiling face of Bud Roberts.

"It sure is. Big plans?"

Bud smiled. "Mikey offered to stay with the baby while he's on leave, so Harriet and I are taking AJ down to Water World this weekend." Harm laughed at the enthusiasm. He wondered if his godson would enjoy the waterpark half as much as his father would.

"Sounds exciting, Bud. Wish I was there."

"Well, gee, sir, you could come along if you wanted to."

"Bud, I-"

"You know, it could be really fun."

"Bud." Harm exhaled a laugh. "As difficult as that offer is to turn down, I'm afraid we've got plans."

"We, sir?"

"C'mon, Bud, you know you aren't any good at straight faces, so don't even try. Yes, we. Colonel Mackenzie and I are having dinner tonight, and tomorrow, well..." The commander looked off towards the colonel's office. A wistful glow lit his eyes.

"Sir?"

Harm's look jumped back to Bud, and after considering for a moment, he gave him a confiding nod. "I'm hoping to fly her out to the country for a picnic. You know how tough this week has been."

"That's for sure, sir. You guys deserve a break after finding that security leak on the _Henry_." He smiled happily at the commander. "It seems like you two are getting along really well."

Harm smiled back at him, then looked a little concerned. "Bud - can I ask you something?"

"Of course, sir. What's up?"

Harm looked surprisingly uncomfortable. He stood up, walked to the office door and closed it carefully. "I need an honest opinion."

Bud looked startled. "I always try to be honest, sir."

The commander laughed lightly. "I know, Bud, I know. But this is different. It's kind of personal, but kind of professional." He ran his hand back through his hair and sat down on the edge of his desk. "Have we been doing all right?"

"Sir?"

"I mean, Mac and me. We've been dating for three months now, and I'm just worried that - well - I don't want either of us to look unprofessional in the office. I know that you and Harriet do a great job of balancing your work and your relationship here, and I just wondered how Mac and I looked to the outside world." Harm looked sheepishly at the lieutenant, and Bud looked humbly flattered.

"Well, gee, sir, thank you. I mean, sometimes it's difficult, but we try." He stopped and focused on what he could remember of the Commander and the Colonel lately in the office. "Let me think."

Harm waited patiently, and then impatiently, for a response. "Bud?"

"I'm trying to be honest, sir. I have to look at the evidence."

Harm grinned in spite of himself and shook his head. With any luck, Bud would someday be the best judge the Supreme Court ever had. After another minute, the lieutenant nodded. "Okay. I think I can give an opinion." He leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms on his chest. Harm looked at the calm, considered expression, and knew that he had asked the right person.

"I think you're doing better in the office. Back when you two were apart, there was more tension between you. It got ugly sometimes, to be frank, sir." Harm nodded for him to go on. "The first week or two that everyone knew you were actually dating, you were both so careful to not look any different here that you really…well… looked different here." Harm frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... you two have always been friends, sir. You have to accept the fact that most people here think of you as a couple anyway, and have for years."

Harm glanced through the closed door toward the bullpen and looked nervous. "Really."

"Don't worry, sir, it's only the people who know you well that feel that way." Bud paused for a moment, decided that it was close enough to the truth to go on, but also deciding to stick to the first person from here on in. "I'm used to you looking at each other, reading each others minds. That's perfectly normal for you two. It's part of what makes you such good partners. It's the same with, well, contact. You would open a door for the colonel, put your hand on her back... she would put a hand on your shoulder looking at a file on your desk. But for a couple of weeks there, you avoided it. Like it was suddenly an impropriety when it hadn't been before. Like you didn't really like each other, I guess."

"Okay. We overcompensated." He sighed. "Are we doing any better?"

Bud looked up toward the ceiling and tilted his head. "I think you're doing great." He dropped his eyes to Harm's and smiled. "I'm sorry if this is out of line, but it's a good example. I've seen you two brush hands accidentally - I saw it this morning, in fact - and instead of looking nervous, as if it didn't happen, you just grabbed her hand for a second... and you smiled at each other, and went on with what you were doing. That kind of acknowledgment actually is less of a distraction." He shifted his back against the wall. "You seem comfortable with the relationship, so it's not getting in the way. Not sticky at all. I think it's just what we've all hoped would happen, frankly."

Harm laughed. "Well, good. I'm glad we're not being... sticky or anything." Bud grinned at him and nodded. "Good thing we've got such good teachers. Thanks, Bud." He looked around for a moment, then leaned forward. "Do me a favor?"

"Of course." Harm smiled. Leave it to Bud to agree before he knew what was being asked of him.

"I'm asking you this as a friend. If you see us getting... sticky... will you promise to let me know?"

Bud considered for a moment. "Of course, Harm. If you want me to." He put out his hand, and they shook solemnly.

"Thanks, Bud. It means a lot to me."

"No problem." The lieutenant turned to go, stopping at the door. "Oh, by the way, Sir, I think you should know you're giving the rest of us men a bad name."

Harm frowned. "Why?"

"Evidently you're more 'romantic' than we are."

"Really."

Bud tried not to grin. "Let's put it this way, Sir. Just about everyone has noticed the thimble thing."

"The thimble thing?" Harm tried, unsuccessfully, to look confused and completely innocent.

The lieutenant sighed. "Yes, Sir. You know. You walk into a meeting and drop one on the papers in front of the Colonel. You pass her in the hall and hand her one."

"Hmh."

"And there was some discussion about it, I must admit. Coates said she got it, so did Harriet… but they wouldn't tell. They just looked at the rest of us like we were totally stupid." He frowned. "Except for the Admiral. He seemed to understand it from the beginning."

Harm shifted uncomfortably. "He is the Admiral."

"Right. Anyway, I finally figured it out."

"Don't know what you're talking about, Bud." Harm moved around the desk to sit in his chair, smiling politely.

"Sir, please. I was reading to AJ last night while Harriet was feeding Jimmy… and he wanted me to read Peter Pan." Bud may have been mistaken, but there was the faintest hint of a blush under the Commander's innocent act.

"...Oh?"

"Yes, Sir. When I got to the part where Peter asks for a kiss and Wendy hands him a thimble, I looked at Harriet and she just smiled at me…" Bud shook his head. "I've got to tell you Sir, you're raising the bar." He grinned sincerely. "Nice one."

This time Harm's smile was genuine. "Hey. A man's gotta do…"

"Right. But do me a favor?"

"What's that, Bud?"

"If you come up with something else like that, let me know first. So I can at least be prepared to buy flowers."

* * *

_Outside Mac's apartment_

Saturday Morning

Harm stood outside Mac's door, messed with his hair, straightened his shirt, and checked the pockets of his jeans one more time. He nodded to himself, took a deep breath, and found he almost knocked on Mac's nose as the door opened. She jumped back and laughed, and he laughed as well, when the shock wore off. "Tink, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

"You never touched me, flyboy. What timing. I was just going to check for the mail." She giggled and leaned close to him. "You're early. You're not usually early." He leaned over and kissed her. She sighed happily as she pulled away, and ran her fingertip down his nose. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." He kissed her finger and folded her hand in his. "Sleep well?"

She looked grateful. "I slept like a rock. Probably snored like crazy. Thanks for understanding." He shook his head, dismissively.

"Hey, after this week, I needed the sleep, too. It worked out fine." He flashed her the famous grin. "Besides. I understand discipline is good for the soul." She laughed out loud, then covered her mouth with her hand.

"Right. You going to come in? Or are we ready to go?"

"Everything's in the car. But I think you'll need a jacket for in the air."

She grabbed a hooded sweatshirt from a hook near the door and gave him a teasing look. "You mean your love won't be enough to keep me warm?" His expression was so serious for a moment that she frowned. "Harm? You okay?" He looked at her, and his sudden expression of love almost brought tears to her eyes. "Sweetheart?" He just shook his head and folded her into his arms, hugging her tight against his chest.

"I love you, Sarah."

She looked up at him. "And I love you, handsome."

"Really?"

There was something going on this morning that Mac didn't quite understand. She did, however, understand sudden feelings of insecurity. For that reason, she answered him absolutely seriously while still smiling. "Really really." He gave her another squeeze, and left one arm around her as they turned from the door.

"Good."

She glanced up at him, and wondered. One way or another, she had come to terms with her love for him long ago. Maybe these waves of insecurity that she got from the always cool commander were his own adjustments. Surely he must know, after all they'd been through in the last four months, how much she cared. She frowned at herself. Was she holding anything back? He had discovered his more playful, romantic side, and was always doing sweet little things for her. Could she be more... open? She tilted her head and smiled up at him. "Besides." He looked down curiously at her. "Your love _is _keeping me warm." She held up the gray sweatshirt, and he saw that it had a navy logo.

"Hey! I wondered where that was." He reached for it, but she pulled it up to her face and inhaled deeply. Her dark eyes looked at him over the crumpled gray fabric.

"You've got to let me keep it. It smells like you." Her expression became more sincere. "Please?" The make-believe stern look in his eyes faded to laughter, and she smiled shyly. "You know when you were gone for two days last week on the Patrick Henry?"

He nodded. "A very long two days."

"I stole it from your apartment when I watered the plants. It made me feel like you were here." She looked down, positively embarrassed. "I slept in it."

Harm looked at her, and something in his heart both relaxed and tensed with excitement. "Well, I guess you can keep it for a while. If you don't mind being a Navy girl." She laughed and they hugged each other hard. "By the way," he said, after kissing her again. "I found a great place for the picnic. It's just a quick hop."


	9. A Modest Proposal

Once more with feelings… I have to say that this has gotten me through a REALLY rough semester here at work. Thanks once more to the readers, even more thanks to the reviewers. I'm amazed at how gratifying it is to find even a couple words in the ol' inbox… It truly inspires one to write more.

And now, the last chapter of this little tale.

**A Modest Proposal**

* * *

_A Short Biplane Flight Out of the City_

Saturday Midday

Mac leaned back against a tree and sipped raspberry iced tea. "Oh, Harm. You've outdone yourself." He smiled at her, almost shyly.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Absolutely." When she looked up, the view was of maple leaves layered over themselves in glowing green shades, clearly getting the most out of the late summer sun. She closed her eyes and followed their example, letting the sunlight wash over her. "Everything was delicious. A girl could get terribly, terribly spoiled."

He smiled at that, picked a blade of grass and toyed with it. "I hope so."

Mac opened her eyes, looking at him as he stared down intensely at the shred of green. _There is definitely__ something going on in there._ She almost laughed when she realized that she wasn't at all nervous about what it might be, just curious. Three months ago that thought would have astonished her; now she accepted it gratefully.

Still, as she studied his profile, she wondered. They had talked, lightly, about moving in together. Maybe that was on his mind. Even though they spent most nights wrapped in each other's arms, the idea of actually 'moving in' felt - odd. She closed her eyes again and relaxed against the rough but somehow comforting trunk of the ancient maple. Everything was going so beautifully... she couldn't say at the moment why she would be nervous about taking that step. Maybe it was because she had struggled with being alone for so many years, and ironically, just as she gained acceptance of that, their relationship had fallen into place. He had been just as commitment-shy for other reasons, but maybe at this point-

"Mac?"

She startled from her reverie, neatly avoided spilling her tea and looked at him.

"Yes?"

He shifted nervously and stood up, reaching down for her hand. "How about an after-lunch walk?" She put down her bottle, took his hand and bounced to her feet.

"Good idea."

They walked quietly from the trees down the grassy hill, hand in hand, until they reached a few boulders and a stone bench near a long, narrow lake. The sunlight illuminated the woods on the other side, and sparkled like diamonds across the water. "Oh, Harm. This is beautiful." Mac stared in absolute delight at the view. "Did you scope this out just for today?" He grinned, caught.

"I found it a while back. The farmer that owns the field we landed in told me I could come anytime. He's retired Navy." Harm shook his head. "I was saving it for a special occasion."

She sighed. "It's so beautiful, the air is so fresh... I could just stand here looking for hours."

He put his arm around her, pulling her close. "You're such a Marine. How about if we sit, instead?"

They walked over to the bench and he swung one long leg over it as she moved to sit back into his open arms, leaning against his chest. The air off the water gave them a cool breeze, tempering the warmth of the sun. Mac rested her head back on his shoulder and sighed happily. After a few minutes, she leaned back and looked up into his eyes.

"So."

"So?" He kissed her forehead.

"Harmon Rabb. Are you going to tell me what's going on in there? Or do we have to pull out the legal pads again when we get home?"

He laughed. She used his full name the way his mom did, when there was going to be trouble if she didn't get an answer.

"Yes, ma'am." For a moment he looked unsure, but shook his head. _Okay, Rabb. Just tell her._

Disentangling himself, he stood up, and reached into his pocket. He gracefully dropped to one knee in front of her and took her hand. Her eyes widened, unbelieving. "There's something I want to tell you."

She put her other hand to her mouth, trying not to speak, certain she must be mistaken in her thoughts. As usual, her mouth didn't appreciate her efforts. "I... ah..."

Harm looked at her nervousness and smiled reassuringly. "I'd like to tell you some things that I want out of life."

She looked into his sincere, storm-tossed eyes and nodded. "I'm listening." He smiled, looked down at her hand, and then back into her eyes.

He spoke her name the way he always did, with a whispered bedroom voice. "Sarah-" he caught himself, almost stopped, went on.

"I want to be able to work with you, stand beside you, share our victories and our defeats. I want to be able to talk in the car about the day, fade into talking about what we're making for dinner. I want to be able to sit and read in the evening, listen to music, relax on the couch with you, maybe sing you a song." He looked deeply into her eyes, which were filling with tears, and stroked her hand gently. "I've had that, these last few months, and I don't want it to end. Seeing what can be has only made me want it even more."

"Oh?" Her voice, small and tentative, made him smile.

"I want to go to sleep every night able to rest my head on your shoulder, knowing that you're the first person I'll see in the morning." He looked down for a moment, grinned, and looked back into the midnight depths of her eyes.

"I want, someday, for you to wake me up by poking me in the back and saying, 'it's time'. I want to be sitting up in the family room playing Scrabble when our kids get back late from a dance, so we can lecture them together about how important it is to find the right person, and what a blessing it is when you do."

She blinked, looked off at the distant trees and back to him, trying not to cry.

"I want to live my life with you. I love you, Sarah. "

She swallowed hard, found her voice, barely. "I love you, too, Harm."

He smiled at her, opened the small box in his hand, and took out a ring. She gasped in spite of herself. His voice remained quietly strong.

"It's a little different, but I thought a diamond solitaire was too typical for someone as extraordinary as you."

The stone in the center of the ring was a heart cut emerald. Delicate, narrow gold wings swept back on either side to form the band. Two small diamonds, one on each side of the emerald, seemed to stand guard. Mac's eyes widened, her hand unable to decide between reaching to touch the ring and covering her mouth.

"Where in the world -" realization hit her. "You must have had this made." He grinned at her.

"I must admit, the Admiral does seem to know where to get almost anything done." He looked anxiously at her, almost child-like. "Do you like it?"

Mac stared at it, her hand still over her mouth. "I love it." She looked up at him and saw the joy in his eyes. "Tell me the story."

He grinned, and held the ring so that the sunlight shot emerald rainbows across his hand.

"I knew a diamond alone wasn't right. And I thought, 'hey, I know she looks great in green'." They laughed at the reference to her Marine uniform, but he could see the pride shining in her eyes. "If you've earned your wings, they show that you've proved, through perseverance and patience, your skill. Even when the plane's not handling right, even when there's a storm..." He looked down again, then back to her face. "Mac, this band has the wings to my heart." He grinned at her. "You've earned them."

She swallowed hard, her back straight and tall as a tear ran down her cheek.

"The two little diamonds are for us. Because as beautiful as we are together, we know that we're two separate people... that we choose to be together, we don't have to be. That decision, that choice-" he shook his head wonderingly, "makes this relationship all the more precious."

He took her hand and brushed his lips across it. "Well, lady?"

Mac stared at the ring in his hand, looked into his eyes that spoke of promises and love. She straightened up, called on her Marine training, and found her voice. Despite her determination, it came out in a husky whisper.

"You didn't ask me yet. Ask me."

Harm swallowed at her sudden seriousness, took her hand between his, formally. "Sarah Mackenzie. Will you marry me?"

Mac looked at him and smiled. "Yes." She swallowed as tears continued to stream down her face. "I love you."

His eyes were shining with tears as he held her now trembling hand. For a moment they couldn't speak, but when he shook his head in amazement and smiled at her, the joyful laughter came. They held on to each other for dear life.

When they separated, Harm kissed her hand where the ring would rest, and gently slipped it onto her finger. Mac felt his hands shaking when he did. Then she leaned forward and they kissed gently, passionately. When they stopped she found she was on her knees with him, and they laughed, and hugged each other, and wept tears of happiness.

Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and looked over his shoulder at the ring on her finger, shaking her head. "I can't believe this. I don't think anything in my life has ever felt so right."

He gave her the grin. "Me either." He kissed her forehead and held her tight. Mac pulled back a couple inches and looked at him earnestly.

"Let's go home, Harm." He brushed her hair back over her ear as she rested her left hand conspicuously on his chest, the stones playing sparkling games with the sunlight.

"Right now?"

"Yeah." A mischievous little grin lit her features. "I feel like flying."

* * *

_JAG headquarters_

Monday

0915

"Tiner. Is the Admiral busy? I need to talk to him."

Tiner checked the schedule. "He's in the middle of paperwork, but I'll let him know, sir. How about fifteen minutes from now?"

"Perfect. I'll need to see Colonel Mackenzie, Lieutenant Simms and Lieutenant Roberts as well. Oh, and Sturgis. Get them in on it?"

Tiner nodded efficiently, picking up the phone. "Yes, sir. I'm on top of it." Harm nodded and walked toward Mac's office. He arrived as the phone rang, and Mac picked it up as she smiled at the commander.

"Yes, Tiner. Fifteen minutes. Thank you." She looked at Harm. "You sure about this?"

Harm grinned. "Too late to worry about that now, Mac."

She rolled her eyes. "Great. Easier to get forgiveness than permission, eh?"

"Fear not." He put his hand to his heart, dramatically. "Have I let you down yet?" Then, with feigned panic in his eyes, he added, "Today?"

Mac laughed, a little nervously. "Okay. So in fifteen minutes, you have an audience with the Admiral. You do know what you're going to say, don't you?"

"Hey, it can't be any harder than closing arguments against Colonel Mackenzie, can it?" He looked at his watch and turned toward his office. As he left, he threw her a kiss over his shoulder. "See you there, Tink." Mac shook her head and giggled at the pet name as he walked away, wondering just what was going to come of this.

Fifteen minutes later, Harriet, Mac, Bud, Sturgis, and Harm were standing at attention in front of Admiral AJ Chegwidden.

"At ease." He looked over the cream of his command and held back a sigh. Now what. "So. To what do I owe the honor of this gathering?" After a bare pause he stopped in front of Harm. "Commander Rabb. I understand this was your idea?"

"Yes, sir." He looked at the Admiral and took a deep breath. "I wanted to let the Admiral know that I took his advice." After a frown, AJ looked surprised, then almost smiled.

"Really. And may I ask what the result was?"

Harm turned to Mac and held out his hand. She looked startled, then fearlessly put her left hand in his. A green sparkle made Harriet gasp. "She said 'yes'. I'm sorry to take office time, sir, but we wanted all of our closest friends to find out at once."

"Oh, Mac!" Harriet broke formation and hugged her friend. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Both!" The Admiral gracefully ignored the loss of protocol and waited as hugs and handshakes were exchanged.

Harm turned to the Admiral, his arm around Mac's shoulder. "Sir. Thank you." Mac looked at him, confused. "I promise I'll take good care of her."

The Admiral nodded, and grinned at the colonel's confusion. "I'll have you know, Colonel, that the Commander actually came to get my permission to ask for your hand in marriage." Mac looked astonished, and stared at Harm.

"When? I mean - I don't know what to say, Sir."

AJ looked out the window, and if he was embarrassed, they couldn't tell. "Commander Rabb actually told me that this was too big a favor to get from the universe without asking someone if it was okay." He looked at Mac, who blushed and looked at the floor. "I told him that you were a big girl, and if you were brave enough to take on life with him full time, you certainly could." He looked back to Mac in time for her eyes to rise, meeting his. "You both make me damn proud."

The Admiral stepped to the side, folded his hands behind his back, and nodded to Rabb. "So you did it. Good for you." He stuck out his hand and shook Harm's, then turned to Mac.

"My best wishes, Co - " He got that far when she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him hard, protocol or no.

"Thank you, Sir," she whispered. "For giving us a chance, for believing in us… for everything." She stepped back, blinked, and stared in front of her, standing at parade rest. "Sir. I know it's asking a lot, but would the Admiral be willing to give me away?"

AJ looked as if he were considering it, and gave up the pretense. "Mac." Mac looked at him, her eyes shining. "I would be honored." He grew more serious, his tone hardening. "But let me tell you. If this marriage interferes in any way with the work in my office -"

"Sir?"

AJ looked sternly at Rabb's interruption.

"Commander?"

"Yes, sir. I just wanted to point out that there have been plenty of interruptions in work brought on by the basic interaction between the personalities of Colonel Mackenzie and myself, and I didn't want any future disruptions to be considered without due comparison to our former work habits..." Harm stopped as the Admiral stepped just a little too close for comfort. "...Sir."

"Commander, there's a little more lawyer in you every year." He stepped back and looked at the two of them. "Suffice it to say that you'll be told, instantly, if I think one of you needs to request a transfer. Don't make me do that."

Harm and Mac smiled. "Thank you, sir. We won't let you down."

"I should think not." The admiral stepped around to the other side of his desk, and sat down. "Now. Show me how efficient you all are by getting back to work."

Five officers snapped to attention, Harm barked "Aye, sir", they all turned on their heels and marched out of the office. Once outside, Harriet hugged Mac and looked at her ring again, then hugged Harm.

"Look. I know we've got work to do... how about we all have lunch together? Would that be okay? I want to hear everything!" Mac smiled at her friend, and looked up at Harm, who nodded.

Turner laughed, a warm, low chuckle. "Well, well, well. It's about time. At least now we don't have to knock your heads together."

"Thanks, Sturgis."

"You just better make sure this works out, hotshot."

"Hey, you've got to admit, we've been doing alright so far."

"Yeah, but remember: you hurt that woman and you'll have every man in here on your six. And a few from outside, I'm sure."

Harm laughed. "Don't I know it." He glanced over at Mac when she touched his arm, and realized immediately what she was thinking. "Say, Sturgis... do you think your father would be willing to do the ceremony?"

Sturgis took a deep breath and smiled broadly. "I'll ask him right away. I'm sure he'd be thrilled." With a hug for Mac and a handshake for Harm, Sturgis headed toward his office to make the call.

Harriet was looking like she might burst with happiness. "So, lunch, right? I still want to hear how he proposed!"

"Sure, Harriet. You won't believe..." Harriet and Mac walked off together, laughing and whispering, leaving Harm and Bud standing and staring.

"Sir?" Harm turned and looked from smiling after his fiancee to Bud, his arms crossed.

"What's up, Bud?"

"I just wanted you to know how happy I am for you, Harm. I really think you and Mac are a good match." Harm looked delighted and a little surprised. Bud used his superior officer's first names, on his own, maybe once a year.

"Thanks, Bud. I think so too." He smiled, a thought dawning on him. "Will you do me a favor?"

"You bet, sir. What is it?"

Harm turned and faced Bud squarely. "I need a best man. I was hoping it would be you."

Bud's face lit up like a little kid at Christmas. "I'd be honored. But don't you think your best man should be your brother?"

Harm looked at the friend before him, shook his head at the man's humility. "Bud, I talked to Sergei last night, and he's agreed to be one of my men if he can get here... but we want you and Harriet to be our best couple. Is that okay?"

"Of course, sir!" Bud was glowing.

"There is one thing Sergei said, though."

"What's that?"

"Well. He said that since you're married, or 'taken', as he put it, he should be the one to 'take over my duties' with Mac if I'm not able to complete my term..." He began to laugh, and Bud joined him.

"I think I can agree to that, sir. And I know Harriet can."

* * *

_Harm's apartment_

Monday Evening

Harm and Mac sat cuddled together on the couch, a bowl of popcorn and a two bottles of root beer on the coffee table in front of them. The movie on the VCR was playing the opening credits, in black and white. Mac picked up the bowl and rested it in her lap.

"So the Admiral just handed this to you?"

"Yeah. It was in his desk drawer, almost like he's been saving it. He couldn't believe we'd never seen it."

"Sounds kind of suspicious."

"Well, he is the Admiral."

"I know. He knows everything, doesn't he."

Harm shook his head. "I remember he mentioned it when we talked about 'us'." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "He recommended that we 'study it carefully', whatever that means." She leaned back and caught his lips with hers, distracting him thoroughly.

"Hey. It's starting."

She grinned and turned back to the screen.

"'Adam's Rib'." She snuggled into his arms and nibbled the popcorn. "Hmmm. I love Spencer Tracy."

He wrapped his arms around her more tightly and stole some popcorn. For a moment, he caught her looking down at her left hand. A laugh of pure joy welled up from him, and he whispered in her ear. "Just you wait."

She looked up at him, puzzled. "For what?"

He smiled at her. "I'm going to make you forget all about Spencer Tracy."

**END**

* * *

And there you have it. By the way, if you haven't seen Adam's Rib, starring Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, I highly recommend it. A married couple, lawyers… hmmmm…. If they could make it work and be interesting in black and white in 1949, I'd think TPTB could find a way to make it work now.

Again, thank you for reading. I try to look up any signed reviewers work – it's the best way to find new folks who write what I like!


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